


Wait For Me

by Simply_A_Cherry_Bomb



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Cheating, Coma Patient, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sort Of, Texting, angst with happy ending, if that made any sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 22,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22865317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply_A_Cherry_Bomb/pseuds/Simply_A_Cherry_Bomb
Summary: When Mark's boyfriend, Donghyuck, ends up in a coma and he decides to message him every day. But he soon finds himself slowly getting distracted by Jeno's friend Renjun, who just so happens to resemble Donghyuck.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 59
Kudos: 112





	1. Day one

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by that one Twitter Markhyuck AU that I read. I can't seem to find the link to it but when I can I'll add it here.

**Mark**  
Donghyuck-ah

 **Mark**  
I miss you

 **Mark**  
I woke up today and found out that my right ankle's broken and that some ribs also cracked

 **Mark**  
but compared to you...

 **Mark**  
I'm so sorry, baby

 **Mark**  
I didn't see the car and

 **Mark**  
I know I should've been more careful

 **Mark**  
I promise when you wake up I'll make it all up to you

 **Mark**  
until you do, I'll message you every day, so that when you wake up you can just read my texts and know what happened

 **Mark**  
I'll be strong for you

 **Mark**  
and always know

 **Mark**  
I love you


	2. Day two

**Mark**  
I asked the doctors what could happen when you wake up, and they said something about memory loss

 **Mark**  
apparently your head got injured really badly and that could result in many different issues arising you wake up

 **Mark**  
I know I've already said this before, but I really mean it

 **Mark**  
I'm sorry

 **Mark**  
I'm sorry that I was the reason we crashed into that car

 **Mark**  
that I was the one who survived without any difficulties

 **Mark**  
that I was the one who's on this side of the accident

 **Mark**  
I came to the hospital again

 **Mark**  
couldn't wait to see you, I don't know why I was kind of hoping you would be awake

 **Mark**  
I sat by your bed and stayed there for a couple of hours, didn't even realize it was night until the nurse told me to leave

 **Mark**  
she looked kind of annoyed that I was there for too long

 **Mark**  
anyways, I love you. wake up soon 💞💞💞


	3. Day three

**Mark**  
I came by the hospital again

 **Mark**  
I can't stay away from you for too long. I get nervous and scared that something might happen to you

 **Mark**  
I had a dream last night

 **Mark**  
or a nightmare to be honest

 **Mark**  
in that, you woke up but had forgotten all about me

 **Mark**  
my heart actually hurt so much just from a nightmare

 **Mark**  
cried myself back to sleep

 **Mark**  
thankfully I didn't dream after that and only woke up to my alarm

 **Mark**  
the nurse that takes care of you glared at me again

 **Mark**  
I don't think she likes me much

 **Mark**  
you know I miss you

 **Mark**  
it's only been three days and I'm already kind of losing it

 **Mark**  
your presence is so important and precious to me that without it a day seems to drag on for hours and I can't focus on anything other than you

 **Mark**  
I love you

 **Mark**  
hopefully, you'll wake up tomorrow


	4. Day seven

**Mark**  
it's been a week baby please wake up

 **Mark**  
I can't stand being without you

 **Mark**  
although I used to say I don't like your cuddles or whenever you slid you hand into mine, I actually really enjoyed it

 **Mark**  
I can just see the face you're gonna make when you read that

 **Mark**  
you're gonna purse your lips, try to stop a laugh and tell me I'm cute like you always do when you get a little embarrassed

 **Mark**  
Jeno asked me to hang out with him today, but I said no

 **Mark**  
I had to make my daily visit to the hospital and get my daily glare from your nurse

 **Mark**  
Jeno understood and told me that whenever I'm ready then I can go out someplace with him

 **Mark**  
I don't really feel like going anywhere, to be honest

 **Mark**  
everything seems so dead to me

 **Mark**  
when I said you're the sun to my life, I guess I genuinely meant it

 **Mark**  
anyways I have to go now

 **Mark**  
love you 💕💕


	5. Day twenty

**Mark**  
it's been nearly a month now

 **Mark**  
when are you going to wake up?

 **Mark**  
I see you every day. your lifeless yet alive body on the bed. it's driving me crazy. I speak to you, but do you hear me?

 **Mark**  
I cry for you, but do you hear me?

 **Mark**  
I tell you I love you, but do you hear me?

 **Mark**  
I just want you to wake up

 **Mark**  
Jeno's been asking me to come out and clear my mind and says that the hospital will only make me more depressed, but that's not true

 **Mark**  
although seeing you makes my heartbreak, it also lightens up my day

 **Mark**  
sometimes, only sometimes, your mouth twitches

 **Mark**  
and I wanna be there every time it happens. it gives me hope that you'll wake up soon

 **Mark**  
I have to go now

 **Mark**  
the nurse is kicking me out

 **Mark**  
I love you and will always love you💕


	6. Day thirty

**Mark**  
it's been a month

 **Mark**  
everyone in the hospital knows me now

 **Mark**  
the nurse still hates me, I think

 **Mark**  
she's always sending me dirty looks when she thinks I'm not looking

 **Mark**  
but whatever, I don't care about that

 **Mark**  
Jeno's started being rude to me

 **Mark**  
he tells me I shouldn't stay in the hospital

 **Mark**  
he even tried to get rid of my mode of transport, which was an Uber because I still can't drive yet

 **Mark**  
but I called Jaemin up and he helped me get here

 **Mark**  
I don't know why Jeno's acting like this. all I want to do is meet you

 **Mark**  
anyways Donghyuck

 **Mark**  
I'm gonna get coffee and then go home

 **Mark**  
I'll see you tomorrow

 **Mark**  
love you <33


	7. Day forty

**Mark**  
that's it

 **Mark**  
I hate Jeno

 **Mark**  
I know he's our best friend, but I can't forgive him for what he said

 **Mark**  
he told me that I should get out and try to stay away from you for a while to somehow "fix my mental health" apparently

 **Mark**  
but I'm perfectly fine

 **Mark**  
I have no problem and I don't want to be separated from you

 **Mark**  
I can't live without you

 **Mark**  
I don't know how I spent those fifteen years of my life before I met you

 **Mark**  
god it must've been so boring

 **Mark**  
and now Jeno's telling me to leave you

 **Mark**  
but don't worry baby

 **Mark**  
I'll always be by your side 💖


	8. Day fifty

**Mark**  
Jaemin and Jeno are doing something

 **Mark**  
I know they are

 **Mark**  
they asked me when was the last time I visited the hospital, I said yesterday

 **Mark**  
and then they looked at each other and nodded

 **Mark**   
I'm scared

 **Mark**  
I don't want them to somehow stop me from coming to the hospital

 **Mark**  
baby please wake up quickly

 **Mark**  
wake up and tell them to go away

 **Mark**  
they always listen to you more than me

 **Mark**  
I have to go now, love you ❤️


	9. Day sixty

**Mark**  
I'm sorry

 **Mark**  
I'm sorry I listened to Jeno and Jaemin

 **Mark**  
they told me I should take a rest and not force myself to go to the hospital every day

 **Mark**   
I don't force myself! but I am tired now

 **Mark**  
I'm tired of waking up every day to find an empty bed

 **Mark**  
I'm tired of going to the hospital, to your room, and then sitting there in silence knowing that I can't do anything else with you

 **Mark**  
I'm so tired of this

 **Mark**  
it's only been two months but I can't handle it

 **Mark**  
please wake up

 **Mark**  
I want to see you smile at me again

 **Mark**  
talk to me again

 **Mark**  
be with me again

 **Mark**  
I really miss you

 **Mark**  
I'm at home and all I can think of is you

 **Mark**  
it's the first time I haven't gone to visit you and it feels so wrong

 **Mark**  
I'm coming tomorrow don't worry, I'll see you then

 **Mark**  
bye bye Donghyuck, I love you 💞


	10. Day seventy

**Mark**

hey baby

**Mark**

I'm not gonna be able to come to the hospital again 

**Mark**

I know it's the fifth time I haven't come, but I've just been gaining my energy again

**Mark**

I'll be back soon to see you 

**Mark**

hopefully the doctors have good news

**Mark**

I really want you to wake up

**Mark**

till then, I love you 💕💕


	11. Chapter eighty

**Mark**  
the nurse smiled at me?

 **Mark**  
when I came in to see you, she said, "nice to see you again"

 **Mark**  
what happened in the week I was gone???

 **Mark**  
anyways

 **Mark**  
Jeno introduced me to one of his friends

 **Mark**  
his name was Renjun

 **Mark**  
he's actually pretty weird and has this dark humour factor in him

 **Mark**  
he's a bit like you actually

 **Mark**  
that's most probably why it felt good to talk to him

 **Mark**  
it felt like I was talking to you after so long

 **Mark**  
the doctors haven't given me any news about your condition, just told me to wait and hope for you to recover soon

 **Mark**  
when you wake up, I'll make you meet Renjun and his friends group

 **Mark**  
I'm sure you like them

 **Mark**  
I'll make sure to continue messaging you everyday about this

 **Mark**  
anyways I have to go now, bye bye

 **Mark**  
love you ♥️♥️


	12. Day ninety

**Mark**  
nearly 100 days since you've been in a coma

 **Mark**  
Im still waiting for you

 **Mark**  
I'll always wait for you

 **Mark**  
so please wake up

 **Mark**  
you know how awkward I feel when Jeno and Jaemin start flirting in front of me and then they realise I'm there and stop, apologise and then try to change the subject

 **Mark**  
I don't wanna be the reason they don't act like boyfriends in front of me

 **Mark**  
they include me on their dates, in attempt to lighten my mood

 **Mark**  
I feel so bad

 **Mark**  
I miss doing so many things with you

 **Mark**  
we were just going to move into our apartment as well

 **Mark**  
I'm doing all the work alone! I'm gonna make you clean the house when you wake up!

 **Mark**  
ah Renjuns calling me

 **Mark**  
I'll visit the hospital soon! bye bye!


	13. Day 100

—

No new messages

—


	14. Day 102

**Mark**  
omg it's been more than 100 days

 **Mark**  
I'm so sorry I didn't come and visit

 **Mark**  
I've just been really busy recently

 **Mark**  
it's nearly Renjun's birthday and we're doing a surprise party for him

 **Mark**  
I wish you were here

 **Mark**  
we could've celebrated together

 **Mark**  
I miss you so much

Mark  
I'll come to the hospital tomorrow, I promise!


	15. Day 106

**Mark**  
I'm sorry I broke my promise

 **Mark**  
Renjun and I went over to my parents' house to collect some of my old clothes

 **Mark**  
I'll make sure to come soon

 **Mark**  
bye byee


	16. Day 120

**Mark**  
I'm sorry

 **Mark**  
I'm so sorry

 **Mark**  
I'm so so sorry

 **Mark**  
I know you won't able to forgive me

 **Mark**  
I did it in the moment and I feel horrible

 **Mark**  
Renjun

 **Mark**  
he

 **Mark**  
he kissed me

 **Mark**  
and I

 **Mark**  
I kissed back

 **Mark**   
BUT

 **Mark**  
it didn't mean anything I promise

 **Mark**  
I only

 **Mark**  
the only person I have feelings for is you

 **Mark**  
Renjun's just my friend

 **Mark**  
and I'm going to tell him that I can't like him in that way tomorrow

 **Mark**  
then I'll come by the hospital

 **Mark**  
I promise

 **Mark**  
please wake up


	17. Day 140

**Mark**  
it's day 140 of me waiting

 **Mark**  
we all miss you

 **Mark**  
just yesterday we were talking about you

 **Mark**  
they asked me if I visited you, I told them it's been a while

 **Mark**  
only a month I think

 **Mark**  
I'll come visit you sometime

 **Mark**  
I'll bring Renjun along

 **Mark**  
he wanted to see you for a while now

 **Mark**  
I told him about how I'm still in love with you

 **Mark**  
he told me he understands and won't try to do anything

 **Mark**  
so please

 **Mark**  
just wake up


	18. Day 160

**Mark**  
5 months

 **Mark**  
I'm sorry Donghyuck

 **Mark**  
I'm really sorry

 **Mark**  
but I can't wait anymore. especially when the doctors have given up hope for you

 **Mark**  
they told me about what happened to you a few days ago. your heart beat slowed down before returning to normal, only to increase again

 **Mark**  
I want you to wake up

 **Mark**  
but they're saying there's less than 40% chance of that happening

 **Mark**  
I really love you

 **Mark**  
I want you back

 **Mark**  
I want you to be here with me

 **Mark**  
but you can't

 **Mark**  
and I'm sorry but

 **Mark**  
I also like Renjun

 **Mark**  
as much as I deny it

 **Mark**  
I can't help but like him

 **Mark**  
I'm sorry

 **Mark**  
I really am sorry

 **Mark**  
and please

 **Mark**  
just know that

 **Mark**  
I love you


	19. Day 170

—

No new messages

_


	20. Day 171

**Mark**  
they've decided to take off your life support

 **Mark**  
it was a really hard decision

 **Mark**  
but they're sure you're not going to wake up

 **Mark**  
I'm sorry but

 **Mark**  
I'm not going to be there

 **Mark**  
they called me whilst I was out of town

 **Mark**  
the others are with me

 **Mark**  
we won't be there for your last moments

 **Mark**   
I'm so sorry

 **Mark**  
I hope you understand

 **Mark**  
if only you could read this

 **Mark**  
I'm sorry

 **Mark**  
just know I still love you  
 _Delivered 10:28_


	21. Day 172

**Mark**  
I still love you  
 _Delivered 10:28 16/04_

**Donghyuck**  
I love you too  
 _Seen 9:38 17/04_

**Mark**  
Wait Donghyuck? What? you're awake? Since when? The doctors never informed me about this

**Donghyuck**  
you're asking so many questions Minhyungie. it's hurting my head

**Mark**  
Please answer them. or call me

**Donghyuck**  
first of all, yes I'm awake. I woke up last night. the doctors wanted to wait till some Mark guy came to the hospital before informing anyone

**Mark**  
Mark guy?

**Donghyuck**  
yeah, apparently he's my fiance or something. they didn't make that bit clear

**Mark**  
wait Donghyuck

**Mark**  
do you not remember who I am?

**Donghyuck**  
um

**Donghyuck**  
I'm sorry but no

**Mark**  
then how did you know what my name was?

**Donghyuck**   
your contact was saved as "💞 Minhyungie 💞" and that's how I knew what your name was. I couldn't find any Mark in my contacts. and omg you sent so many messages, over 2000 you know. I'm gonna read them soon

**Mark**  
oh

**Mark**  
don't read the messages

**Donghyuck**  
don't? why

**Mark**  
just don't, they're useless. just random things

**Donghyuck**  
oh yeah, by the way, why did you say you love me? and why did your name have hearts around it? was a thing I did with all my friends or something? casual heart sending?

**Mark**  
yes. but

**Mark**  
I'm not only your friend

**Mark**  
I'm Mark. your ex fiance

**Donghyuck**  
ex fiance?

**Mark**  
yeah we um

**Mark**  
we broke up 

**Donghyuck**  
oh 

**Donghyuck**  
okay but why did you say you love me

**Mark**  
doesn't matter anymore

**Mark**  
I'm coming back to Seoul today. I'll see you soon

**Donghyuck**   
ah okay! bye bye. 💞

**Mark**  
bye. and don't read the messages

**Donghyuck**  
yes yes dad


	22. Day 173

**Mark**  
he's awake Jeno

**Mark**  
he's awake!!!!

**Jeno**  
have you seen him?

**Mark**  
yeah

**Mark**  
I came to the hospital to see him reading through a book

**Mark**  
he didn't recognise me when I saw him

**Jeno**  
oh

**Jeno**  
but isn't that a good thing?

**Mark**  
I guess but

**Mark**  
I wanted him to know me 

**Mark**  
so that we could at least return to being friends

**Jeno**  
mark

**Jeno**  
it's okay

**Mark**  
I feel horrible right now

**Mark**  
he's looking at me with wide eyes, continuously asking me questions about what he used to do

**Mark**  
how am I supposed to do this

**Jeno**  
I have an idea

**Mark**  
??

**Jeno**   
I'm coming to the hospital

**Jeno**  
I'll explain it there

**Mark**  
I'm trusting you Jeno 


	23. Day 173.2

"Are you kidding me?" Mark scoffed, immediately shaking his head at Jeno's brilliant idea. "I'm not letting you do that."

"Mark, he needs a new environment," Jeno sighed, running a hand down his face as he tried to explain to Mark why he was right. "If he meets new people, and makes new memories, then he wouldn't have to experience the sadness he would get after regaining his old memories and finding out that you left him during his injury."

"But Jeno!" Mark raised his head, eyes glistening and threw his hands up. "I don't want him to leave. I know this sounds selfish, especially after what I've done, but I really don't want to lose him."

Jeno glanced past Mark at Donghyuck, who was fiddling with his phone, scrolling through instagram to catch up with whatever had happened with the people he didn't even know anymore. Mark followed his gaze and watched as Donghyuck's eyebrows creased and he blinked in confusion at some posts.

"Mark," Jeno said, catching the elders attention. "He needs to find new friends. He doesn't know who we are and it doesn't seem like he's interested in getting to know us better. It's the best option. Please."

Mark lowered his head, balling his hands into fists, before nodding slowly and quickly left the room. Donghyuck stared at the door, which had just shut close and then turned to Jeno.

"Uh..." Donghyuck licked his lips, scrunching his nose to try and remember what Jeno's name was. "Why did Minhyung leave?"

"I'm Jeno," He first clarified, taking the seat besides the bed and sighed again. "And he left because he didn't want to be the one to say this."

"This?"

"Donghyuck, you wanted to get admission into a university, and you managed to do it," Jeno started, remembering how Donghyuck had stressed himself so much to the point that his hair was turning into a grey colour (which he then later dyed to silver). "But since you got into the accident, you obviously weren't able to fully join, however they still kept their offer, and now that you've woken up, they're willing to take you in."

"Oh wow," Donghyuck nodded along, shocked that the university he had been planning on joining had in fact waited for him. "What was the course that I had chosen?"

"Nutrition," Jeno answered, showing the email he had received from Donghyuck's choosen university. "They said you can join from the start of the year, so in two months you can recover and then attend university."

"Oh nice!" Donghyuck replied, smiling as he thought about how his life was already planned out for him, because of his previous self. "By the way, where do I live?"

"With..." Jeno groaned in frustration, remembering how Mark had already put all of Donghyuck's stuff in their shared apartment, and never taken it out. "Mark."

"Minhyung?" Donghyuck asked, only to get a response with a nod. "Even after we broke up, we stayed in the same apartment?"

"There are two rooms," Jeno explained, thinking back to how Donghyuck had bought two rooms because the two weren't married yet and he didn't want to sleep on the same bed as Mark even though before they had slept together many times. "I'll show it to you when you get discharged."

"Alright," Donghyuck smiled at Jeno, before picking his phone up and frowning at the empty chats he had. When Mark arrived, he immediately wiped out all of the chat history there was, saying something about how it was all useless.

Jeno got up and left the room, passing by Mark, who had his back against the wall besides the door, eyes shut in anger.

"Let him be Mark," Jeno whispered, lowering his head.


	24. Day 180

"Finally!" Donghyuck exclaimed, dropping his bags down and admired the apartment he had just shifted into. After a week of tests and checks for any other injuries, Donghyuck was discharged from the hospital and he had already gotten his stuff ready to move into the shared apartment. 

He had gotten the key from Jeno, who informed him that Mark would be coming home soon, and so he decided to check out the place before Mark came back.

"Oh pretty," Donghyuck commented, seeing the sunflowers in the middle of the table, neatly presented. He was about to touch it, when he heard the door unlock behind him. "Minhyung!"

"Hey," Mark said weakly, still a little taken back from the enthusiastic greeting he got from someone who would've been crying his eyes out he found out what happened.

"How are you?" Donghyuck asked, not knowing what else to say after their greetings got filled with awkward silence. Mark visibly seemed exhausted and he simply nodded to say he was well. "You don't seem good, why don't you go rest?"

"No no," Mark shook his head, throwing his bag into his room before returning to enter the joint kitchen. "I need to make food for us."

"But you're horrible at cooking," Donghyuck said, and Mark froze before turning his head to the younger.

"What do you mean?" Mark asked, taking a step towards him. "How did you know that?"

"Me and Jeno spoke for a really long time," Donghyuck explained, remembering how Jeno told him about Mark's terrible attempts at cooking. "He's already given me a little bit of information on you to work with."

"Oh," Mark sighed, going back to the kitchen and tried to make some food. Donghyuck watched him as he struggled to flip the chicken in the pan, so he quickly hurried to his side to help him before he burnt the precious food. "I can do it myself."

"Doesn't seem like it," Donghyuck laughed, taking the pan completely out of Mark's grip and started to cook without any problem. Mark stared at Donghyuck, who was happily humming and making the food, and he felt a pang in his heart. He had given up on this boy after just 5 months, and now he was supposed to spend god knows how many years with Donghyuck in this shared apartment.

When Renjun found out that Donghyuck had woken up, he pushed Mark to go meet him and to fix things with him. But when he later discovered that Donghyuck had forgotten everything, he suggested that Mark should stay away from him and not help him regain his memories, as that would be painful for both of them. 

Mark, at first, wanted Donghyuck to remember everything, so that they could still remain as friends, but after a while he realised that he wouldn't be able to be friends with Donghyuck, since his feelings were obviously still present, just not as powerful as the ones he had for Renjun.

"Here," Donghyuck said, snapping Mark out of his thoughts and passed him a bowl full of chicken and rice. Donghyuck took the seat next to him and started munching on the food he had made. Mark slowly ate, fighting back the tears he had because it had been so long since he had last eaten Donghyuck's cooking. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Mark said, his tone being harsher than he expected and Donghyuck flinched, before smiling and nodded.

"I'll see you later, Minhyung," Donghyuck said, quickly stuffing his face with the last bits of the food and rushed into his room. Mark ran a hand through his hand, annoyed at himself for snapping at Donghyuck randomly and then continued to eat the food. 

"I'm sorry, Donghyuck."


	25. Day 190

**Mark**  
Jeno I can't do this

**Mark**  
it's been 10 days since we've started living together and it just hurts

  
**Jeno**  
mark

 **Jeno**  
you have to live with it just for a few more weeks

 **Jeno**  
then as soon as he gets busy with uni

 **Jeno**  
you'll get more time alone

**Mark**  
I know but

**Mark**   
every time I see him I feel horrible. every time he smiles at me I feel horrible. every time he calls me Minhyung I feel horrible 

**Mark**  
I only waited 5 months

**Mark**  
Hyuck would've waited longer for me

  
**Jeno**  
listen Mark

 **Jeno**  
what you did was stupid and bad

 **Jeno**  
but honestly

 **Jeno**  
Donghyuck's changed

 **Jeno**  
he's not like the old donghyuck

 **Jeno**  
hes a lot more talkative

 **Jeno**  
he's energetic

 **Jeno**  
he's nice

 **Jeno**  
old donghyuck was a mess compared to him

**Mark**  
but it's the same person Jeno

  
**Jeno**  
he doesn't act like it

 **Jeno**  
mark

 **Jeno**  
please try to forget your feelings for Donghyuck so that you don't hurt yourself, or Renjun

**Mark**  
I know I know

**Mark**  
I'm trying

**Mark**  
I have to go

**Mark**  
bye

  
**Jeno**  
bye Mark

 **Jeno**  
good luck


	26. Day 195

Donghyuck sighed for the fifth time and sunk down on the sofa. He was bored. He had spent only a few days at home but he was extremely bored. All he wanted to do was go out and maybe get some drinks, hang out with Jeno and hear more stories, but here he was, laying on the sofa because everyone he knew was busy.

Donghyuck picked his phone up and decided to randomly follow people on Instagram in an attempt to find new people. As soon as he gave up, seeing the fact that nearly everyone he requested to follow declined his offer quicker than he sent it, a notification popped up saying that someone had finally accepted it.

He pulled the phone up to his face and examined the screen, nodding along to the lines of the person's bio.

"Zhong Chenle?" Donghyuck read out loud, and then discovered that the orange haired boy was a year younger than him. After a couple of minutes filled with stalking, Donghyuck gathered up the courage to talk to him. 

Hyuckio

hi

Donghyuck cringed at himself, realising he was acting like that typical guy on Instagram, trying to slide into people's DMS, and then jumped when he saw Chenle start typing.

Elnehc

heyyy!

"That's quite enthusiastic," Donghyuck commented, and then thought whether or not the younger had removed some of the 'y's in his text to sound less excited about talking to a stranger.

Hyuckio

what's up

Although Donghyuck's conversation skills were at their worst, he somehow managed to talk to Chenle for the rest of the evening. He even found out that Chenle was going to attend the same university as Donghyuck, so they arranged a time and place to meet up.

"I've made a new friend," Donghyuck smiled to himself, clapping quietly and then stuffed his phone into his pocket as he heard the door to the main door open. It wasn't as if he was hiding it from Mark - well, he was- but he just didn't want Mark to find out that he was interacting with new people, since the boy seemed a little off about it. "Welcome back, Minhyung!"

Mark turned to face Donghyuck, forcing a smile and muttered a "Hey, Donghyuck," before escaping to his room. Coming back from uni to see Donghyuck sprawled over the sofa, engulfing himself in the dim lighting and filling his mouth up with crisps hurt Mark. It hurt him to see Donghyuck in perfect shape and not be with him.

He had spent so many nights, and days, crying over how much he missed Donghyuck. And now he has to go through nights knowing Donghyuck is in the room next to his and he doesn't remember any of the things they did. 

"What did you do today?" Donghyuck asked, watching Mark as he walked across the room to the kitchen and gulped down a whole glass of water. Mark shook his head as he felt dizzy and stumbled over to Donghyuck.

"Nothing much," Mark replied, feeling exhaustion wash over him when he sat down on the sofa. He was telling the truth. Other than completing a few assignments that he had been given and then rushing over to submit them before the deadline, he didn't get to do anything else. "What about you?"

"I stalked people on instagram," Donghyuck answered, completely excluding the fact that he had made a new friend. "Anyways, why don't you sleep?"

"I might," Mark said, closing his eyes and sunk into the sofa. He wanted to change first but he was too tired and lazy to even get up. It wasn't late, only around 7pm, but he was ready to sleep till the next morning. "Goodnight..."

Donghyuck shuffled forwards and brushed his hand through Mark's hair as he fell asleep. A smile crept up his face and he pat his head softly.

"Night, Markie."

  
  



	27. Day 210

Mark rolled around in his bed, an uncomfortable feeling filling him as he glanced over at the clock across his room. A frown covered his as he heard the door to the apartment ope . The footsteps from the entrance to the living echoed loudly and Mark threw his sheets off him, quickly stuffing his feet into his slippers and hurried out of his room, eager to speak to the brunette that had just arrived home at 2am.

"Where the hell were you?" Mark asked, eyeing Donghyuck who casually sipped through his juice and checked through his phone, not paying much attention to Mark.

"Out with friends," Donghyuck replied, a little confused by Mark's harsh tone. He had finally met up with Chenle a week ago and the two started meeting up a lot more. Chenle was Donghyuck's favourite type of friend. Loud, funny, cute, and didn't ask questions whenever he got quiet. 

"It's 2am, Hyuck, that's too late." 

"I mean," Donghyuck cleared his throat and walked past Mark towards his bedroom, chuckling a little as Mark made a move to grab him but failed. "You stay out till 4, but do I ask where you've been?"

"That's because I have a reason!" Mark scoffed, and threw his hands up in frustration. "I go to uni! And I tell you that I'm coming home late."

"Well that's you, Minhyung," Donghyuck rolled his eyes, holding the handle of the door to his room and then glared at Mark. "I don't need a constant update of where you are everyday. You tell me on your own."

Before Mark could say anything, which was probably going to be a weak attempt of a lie, Donghyuck slammed the door to his room shut and took a deep breath. He placed his forehead against the cold surface of his door and tried to calm his erratic heart beat. The stinging in his eyes continued despite his emotions coming under his control and he peeled himself off the door.

"If you cared so much, why did you leave me?"


	28. Day 211

"Who's Chenle?" Mark asked as Donghyuck slowly made his way out of his room with his arms above his head. "And why do you call him baby?"

"He's my friend," Donghyuck said as he yawned, then he paused and snapped his head towards Mark, who was holding Donghyuck's phone in his hands. "What the hell? Why do you have my phone!" 

Donghyuck's sleep washed away the second he realised Mark was holding his phone and he rushed forwards, anger taking over him. He snatched his phone away and glanced at what the older had been looking at — it was his chat with Chenle.

"Are you sure he's just your friend?" Mark ignored Donghyuck's questions and asked his own. It was around 6am when Donghyuck's phone started to ring for his alarm, so Mark entered his room to switch it off. Once he did, a notification from someone called Chenle popped up saying, 'Wake up, Haechannie!!!'. He knew it was wrong, but he still checked through his phone.

"Minhyung," Donghyuck said sternly. "Don't touch my phone ever again. Just because you were my ex-fiance or whatever doesn't mean that you have any permission to ever come anywhere near my phone."

"Donghyuck listen I—" He felt bad, bad that jealousy and curiosity got to him, making him do something he didn't think he would ever do, but Donghyuck interrupted him.

"Also it's none of your business who my friends are," Donghyuck shook his head, stuffing his phone into his pocket and then turned to glare at Mark again. "And it's none of your business what I call them."

"I'm sorry, okay!" Mark yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration before hurrying to pick his bag up to leave.

"Of course!" Donghyuck laughed, watching how Mark opened the door quickly, his hands shaking as he shut it behind himself. Donghyuck smiled bitterly at the sight and sighed. "Of course you're going to leave, that's how you deal with all your problems! Unfortunately, I was one of them."


	29. Day 220

**Renjun**  
Hey Mark

**Mark**  
Renjun! What's up?

  
**Renjun**  
I need to talk to you

 **Renjun**  
it's something serious

**Mark**  
what's is it Renjun?  
Is everything alright?  
Are you alright?

  
**Renjun**  
I'm alright but

 **Renjun**  
I'm worried for you

 **Renjun**  
you and Donghyuck

**Mark**  
what do you mean?

  
**Renjun**  
listen Mark

 **Renjun**  
I know you still love him

 **Renjun**  
I read the messages you sent  
Donghyuck. I'm sorry about that,  
i was just curious

 **Renjun**  
I don't want to hold you guys back

**Mark**  
no no no wait 

**Mark**  
Renjun

**Mark**  
Donghyuck's in the past now

**Mark**  
you know he doesn't remember anything

**Mark**  
and doesn't have feelings towards me anymore

**Mark**  
besides

**Mark**  
I love you

**Mark**  
not him 

  
**Renjun**  
Mark

 **Renjun**  
please don't make this hard

 **Renjun**  
just

 **Renjun**  
go on and be with Donghyuck

 **Renjun**  
help him remember

 **Renjun**  
he'll forgive you for what you did

 **Renjun**  
if he doesn't! I'll ask him

 **Renjun**  
I'll tell him that it was me  
pushing myself onto you

**Mark**  
Renjun no.

**Mark**  
I'm not leaving you alright.  
i'm happy with you, and  
don't want to be with Donghyuck

  
**Renjun**  
mark

 **Renjun**  
I just don't want to be that guy  
who stops you, you know?

**Mark**  
you're not

**Mark**  
so please don't worry

**Mark**  
I love only you💞

  
**Renjun**  
😔

 **Renjun**  
❤️


	30. Day 220.2

"What!" Jeno yelled, slamming his hands on the table and glared at Mark, who shrunk in his seat and tried to hide his face. He had just told Jeno about the incident that took place a few days ago and then how he had decided to no longer keep any relationship with Donghyuck. "Mark, why would you do that?"

"I'm listening to you, Jeno," Mark replied, ignoring the glares Jeno gave him. "I'm letting him be. Allowing him to find his own friends group. He needs new people anyways, staying with me is probably going to trigger his memory and he'll find out about all the horrible things I did to him."

"Mark I—" Jeno was at a loss for words because Mark  _ was _ listening to him. He wasn't talking to Donghyuck, which meant Donghyuck was interacting with other people, perhaps making even more new friendships. Mark was trying his best to stay out of Donghyuck's sight, so that no memories would return and cause heartache for both of them. Yet, why did Jeno feel so bad about this?

"Anyways," Mark cleared his throat, pulling his phone out and showed Jeno the conversation he had had with Renjun just a while ago. That was actually the real reason he had called Jeno out. "Renjun tried to break up with me."

"Oh, no way," Jeno immediately grabbed the phone and read through the messages. His heart hurt even more as he realised he was the main cause of this. He was the one who told Mark to meet Renjun. He was the one who told Mark to leave Donghyuck's side. And he was the one who told Renjun to pretend.

"What should I do?" Mark asked, ruffling his own hair. As if uni stress was not enough, he had to deal with a close break up and his ex who was living in the same apartment as him, just a few feet away from him. 

"Uh..." Jeno bit his lip. What he was going to say next was most probably what Mark was going to blindly follow. So it had to be right. He could either tell Mark to break up with Renjun and try to fix his relations with Donghyuck, which would've been the right thing to do all along. Or, he could tell Mark to continue dating Renjun, and completely ignore the existence of the person he still loved. "Mark, uh..."

Before Jeno could continue whatever he was going to say, the door to the cafe they were sitting in opened and a laughing Donghyuck entered, a smaller orange haired boy trailing beside him.

"Chenle, just go for it!" Donghyuck encouraged, trying to stop his laughter, but glanced over at his friends distressed face and couldn't stop. "Come on listen, Jisung wouldn't just hand you his book and leave a letter in it, asking you to come to the fountain in the park at 5."

"He could've accidentally given me the letter!" Chenle argued and the two walked through the cafe, not noticing the raven haired males that were staring at them with shock from across the room. "Like, he might've put the letter in the book to keep it straight, and then given me the book without taking the letter out! You never know! Just imagine how embarrassing it would be if I show up at the fountain, all ready with my hopes above the roof, only to find out that the letter wasn't for me but for someone else."

"Chenle!" Donghyuck grabbed the younger's shoulders in an attempt to end his rambling. "Stop being so pessimistic. I'm sure it's for you and if it isn't then I'll beat Jisung up for you."

"Oh my god, don't do that," Chenle groaned, before turning to the counter and ordered something. Jeno and Mark remained frozen in their seat, afraid to speak and get noticed by the brunette they were choosing to hide from. 

"Should I call out to them?" Jeno whispered, only to receive a stab into the rib by Mark's elbow. He squeaked and managed to catch the two at the counters attention. "Oh hey, Donghyuck!"

"Jeno!" Donghyuck greeted happily, rushing over to him and cheerily high fived him. "It's been a while."

"Yeah it has," Jeno smiled brightly, looking at Chenle and then back at Donghyuck. "Got new friends?"

"Ah yeah!" Donghyuck poked at Chenle, urging him to come closer. "This is Chenle, he's a year younger than us, but he's going to start uni at the same time as me."

"Hi," Chenle pat Jeno's arm, and then turned to Mark, raising an eyebrow as the older awkwardly shifted in his seat. "Is that Jaemin?"

"Oh, no," Donghyuck laughed, shaking his head. "That's Mark."

"Oh," Chenle narrowed his eyes and gave Mark a cold look, completely different to the warm smile he had given Jeno. "Hello, Mark."

"Hey," Mark said nervously, and then waited for someone to speak up.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," Chenle said, slipping his hand into Donghyuck's. "We'll see you guys later, bye!"

The two rushed over to the counter, paying for their drinks and then hurried out. Jeno sighed and turned to Mark, who was clearly shocked by the scene that took place in front of them.

"Was that Jisung's Chenle?"


	31. D̶a̶y̶ f̶i̶f̶t̶y̶ o̶n̶e̶

**Jeno**  
Renjun!!

**Renjun**   
Jeno???

**Renjun**  
it's been five months since we last spoke, whats up?

  
**Jeno**  
I need your help

**Renjun**  
My help?

  
**Jeno**  
yeah

 **Jeno**  
I have a friend called Mark

**Renjun**  
okay...?

  
**Jeno**  
and his boyfriends in a coma

**Renjun**  
ah damn that's sad

  
**Jeno**  
yeah and the thing is

 **Jeno**  
mark hasnt been leaving the hospital ever since his boyfriends fallen into a coma

 **Jeno**  
hes becoming obsessed with staying next to him and can't even go through the day without thinking about him

**Renjun**  
oh wow that's bad

  
**Jeno**  
yeah so

 **Jeno**   
I need your help

**Renjun**  
how could I help? you know I'm not majoring in psychology right

  
**Jeno**  
No! I need other type of help

**Renjun**  
okay, go on

  
**Jeno**  
I need you to distract him from his boyfriend

**Renjun**  
Jeno

**Renjun**   
are you telling me to help a guy cheat on his boyfriend who's in a fricking coma

  
**Jeno**  
that's not what I mean exactly!!

 **Jeno**  
just become his friend and take him out of this horrible routine

**Renjun**  
you're his friend

**Renjun**  
why don't you do it

  
**Jeno**  
i can't

**Renjun**  
why

  
**Jeno**  
hes already suspicious of me

 **Jeno**  
he needs to meet someone new

 **Jeno**  
please

**Renjun**  
Jeno 

**Renjun**   
I swear to god

  
**Jeno**   
please please please

**Renjun**  
Fine!

**Renjun**   
tell me where I could meet up with him

  
**Jeno**  
Thank you!!


	32. Day 222

**Jeno**   
do you really love mark?

**Renjun**  
no and that's why I want him to be happy with Donghyuck

  
**Jeno**  
are you sure you don't like him

**Renjun**  
yes Jeno I'm sure

  
**Jeno**  
should I try to convince mark to leave you

**Renjun**   
not gonna lie Jeno

**Renjun**  
I think you've done enough interfering in Mark's life

**Renjun**  
let him do things on his own for once

**Renjun**  
let him realise he can't forget his feelings for Donghyuck

**Renjun**  
let him want to help Donghyuck regain his memories

  
**Jeno**  
I was only trying to help

**Renjun**  
well your help was pretty shitty

**Renjun**  
so stay out of it

  
**Jeno**  
okay..

**Renjun**  
anyways, I have to go now

**Renjun**  
bye

  
**Jeno**  
bye  
  
  


Renjun chuckled bitterly as he pulled his phone away and then caught a glimpse of his wallpaper, which was a picture of Mark holding up a piece of watermelon proudly. So what if he liked Mark, Jeno didn't need to know that.


	33. Day 223

"A date?" Mark asked himself as he looked down at his phone. He shouldn't be surprised, as he got that message from his boyfriend, but after what the situation was currently like, he didn't expect Renjun to be asking him out on a date.

"Hm?" Donghyuck hummed, poking his head up from the sofa and glanced at the kitchen where Mark was. "Did you say something?"

"Uh," Mark coughed before shaking his head and hurried into his room. He still felt awkward every time Donghyuck would speak to him. Although he believed that he no longer had any feelings for the younger, and that the person he liked was Renjun, the memories from before the incident were still there.

**Renjun**  
wanna go on a date?

**Mark**  
yeah sure, when?

**Renjun**  
tomorrow? 4pm?

**Mark**  
that's perfect :)

**Mark**  
where are we going?

**Renjun**  
it's a surprise ;)

**Mark**  
:00

**Renjun**  
don't worry

**Renjun**  
I know you'll enjoy

"And even if you won't," Renjun whispered, pulling the blanket over his face and dropped his phone on the bed. "I'll make sure I enjoy the date, because this will be our last."


	34. Day 224

"The park?" Mark said, climbing out the car. Renjun chuckled at Marks reaction, before slipping his hand into his and tugged him towards the gate.

"Listen. You have to listen to everything I say," Renjun said, dragging Mark into the park. "Otherwise I'm going home."

"Alright, alright," Mark groaned, but a small smile still crept up his face and he threw his hand around Renjun's shoulder. "So what are we going to do here?"

"You see," Renjun pointed in the far distance where multiple lights were shining. "There's a small festival kinda thing going on. We're going to try and go on every single one of the rides."

"Every single one?" Mark paused, and turned to Renjun with confusion. "Do we even have enough money to do that?"

"Ha," Renjun scoffed. "I don't, but you do. So you're going to pay for both of us."

Before Mark could object any further, Renjun shrugged his arm off his shoulder and ran towards the rides. Mark watched him run before shaking his head and chasing after the younger. When they reached the place, a lot of people were there. They didn't really expect a big crowd, as these rides had been up for nearly a whole month now, so the rush would've been cleared out by now. But clearly it hadn't.

"Which one should we go on first?" Mark asked, nudging Renjun's side and gestured towards the many rides available. Renjun narrowed his eyes and scanned over the place, before lightening up and ran towards one. He was acting like a child, more than he normally did at least, and honestly, Mark was enjoying it. He never got to see the cute side Renjun had, as the boy always kept a secure wall up to prevent anything bad from happening.

A whole hour later, once Renjun's legs got tired, and he could no longer drag Mark around, they decided to sit down on one of the benches. As Renjun took a seat, raising his head so that it wouldn't get buried under the massive plushie he thought would be a good idea to buy, he called out to Mark in a hushed voice.

"Do you really like me?" Renjun asked, his eyes shooting up to meet Mark's before dropping back down to the floor. Mark stared at him with confusion, before nodding his head. "Mark...do you really have no feelings for Donghyuck?"

_ Hesitation _ . Mark hesitated for a few seconds, actually rethinking his feelings for the younger. Although they barely spent time together, seeing him everyday with other friends caused him heartache, but he knew it was his fault they weren't together, or couldn't be together. And that's why he was cutting off all contact from him slowly.

"Yes," Mark replied, smiling softly as Renjun, who only responded to it by chewing his inner cheek. This was going to be a lot harder than Renjun expected, especially because his stomach was twisting and a throbbing headache was arising.

"Come here for a second," Renjun said, motioning for him to come closer. As Mark did, Renjun brought one of his hands from inside the plushie and placed it on Mark's face. His heart tugged at the feeling and moved closer to Mark's face.

Just as their lips were about to meet, Mark's eyes darted away from Renjun's face and towards the two males standing not far from them. The shorter one ducked his head before raising it and then got onto his tip toes. Mark's eyes widened as he recognised him but before he could so anything he regretted, he felt Renjun's soft lips touch his. 

Mark's heart dropped as he watched Donghyuck kiss the taller male and quickly averted his eyes back to Renjun, who had closed his eyes. A horrible feeling washed over him because as much as he wanted to enjoy the kiss, he couldn't. As much as he wanted to go up to Donghyuck and pull him away from the other guy, he couldn't.

"Mark," Renjun said after he pulled away, breathing heavily and staring down at the floor. "I don't like you."

"Wait...what?" Mark moved back, raising his eyebrow at Renjun's sudden confession, and tried to ignore the couple behind him. "What do you mean by that?"

"I actually never liked you," Renjun said, biting down his lip and tried to get this over and done with. "I only became your friend because Jeno told me to and only asked you out because you were so depressed, so I wanted to take you out of it. But I didn't really like you. Hell, I don't even like you as a friend."

Mark's jaw dropped at what Renjun said and he felt his eyes sting. Sure, the fact that Renjun didn't like him anymore hurt, but not as much as the fact that Renjun never had any feelings for him at all. And that basically everything Renjun did was fake.

"You don't mean that, do you?" Mark stuttered, gulping loudly as Renjun's expression sharpened. 

"Mark, stop lying to yourself," Renjun sighed, standing up and picked the plushie up with him. "I don't like you, and neither have you. So please stop, I know you're still in love with Donghyuck."

Mark felt his breathing fastened and his stomach flipped but he ignored the feeling and pushed it away. He got up from his seat and held a hand out.

"But Renjun," Mark licked his lips, taking a step forward only to freeze when he saw Renjun take on backwards. "We can still be friends rig-"

"Did you not hear me, Mark?" Renjun groaned, tilting his head back in fake annoyance and stared at Mark straight in the eyes. "I don't want to be your friend, or have anything to do with you."

And with that, Renjun spun on his heels, chewing his bottom lip in attempt to stop himself from tearing up and hurried towards the exit of the park, stuffing his face into the plushie. Mark stood in shock as he realised what had just happened. Honestly, he couldn't care less about the fact that he had been dumped. He cared more about the fact that he just lost a really good friend of his.

As Mark collapsed on the bench, rubbing his eyes to stop them from letting the tears escape, a pair of red trainers stopped in front of his black ones.

"What happened, Mark?" Donghyuck asked, and Mark could only reply with a shake of his head. "Come on, you can tell me."

"It's nothing, don't worry," Mark answered and internally whined at the way his voice cracked when he spoke. Donghyuck stood in front of Mark for a bit before leaning forward and grabbed his wrist. Without any warning, Donghyuck jerked Mark towards him and dragged him down the streets, back towards their apartment. Mark couldn't pay attention to the way Donghyuck's grip on his wrist tightened every time he sniffled and tried to focus on the where he was going. 

His mind was stuck on Renjun. He had really left him. Renjun had said he did this because of Jeno, but why would Jeno do that? Why would Jeno send Renjun his way just to take his mind off Donghyuck? 

"Tell me what happened," Donghyuck said once they reached their apartment, kicking off his shoes and tugged Mark to the sofa.

"I..." Mark shuffled uncomfortably on his seat, finding it awkward to talk to his ex about his new ex and how he broke up with Renjun because he had some hidden feelings for Donghyuck. It was all a mess and Mark felt even worse once he said it out loud. "Renjun broke up with me because he didn't love me and because he thinks I still love you."

"Renjun — what?" Donghyuck blinked a few times to process the information. He ignored the way his cheeks heated up and placed a soft hand over Mark's, gently caressing it to help the older calm down. "Well, do you?"

Mark raised his head, finally tearing his eyes away from the floor and stared at Donghyuck. The same Donghyuck that had just kissed someone in the park. Why was Donghyuck asking him if Mark still loved him if he was happy with someone else? Did he want to see Mark miserable after he rejects him terribly? Instead of telling Donghyuck the truth, Mark decided to go on with another lie.

"No." 

The way Donghyuck's face dropped was dreadful. His wide eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Then why did Renjun think so?" Donghyuck asked, and Mark chose to quickly answer the question with a 'I don't know', before running into his room to avoid any more questioning.

Because that's what Mark was best at.

Running from his problems.


	35. Day 224.2

"The park?" Donghyuck asked, turning around to face his taller and older friend, Lucas. They met through Chenle, because apparently the two knew each other when they lived in China and honestly he was amazing. Although Lucas cracked jokes, acted stupid and pretended to not understand things by using his, "I don't know Korean" card, he still sat down and listened to all of Donghyuck's problems.

He knew exactly what happened when he woke up, and how his relationship with Mark changed over time. That's why Donghyuck was here with Lucas, trying to get away from his problems before returning to university. 

"Yes, now come on!" Lucas said, grabbing Donghyuck's hand and pulled him towards the small roller coasters. "I've been wanting to go here for ages!"

"Why don't you take your crush?" Donghyuck asked, remembering how Lucas had once mentioned this guy he had a crush on. Apparently he was shorter, cute, easily angered, but also extremely cool. Then again Donghyuck guessed he was pretty biased towards this person to describe him like that, because no one could be that perfect.

"He's busy," Lucas grumbled, before pushing Donghyuck into a line for one of the rides. 

Even though both of them were well above the age of riding roller coasters and screaming like little kids, they were still doing that. The two threw their hands up in the air and yelled their lungs out, shutting their eyes close and letting the air hit their faces. 

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" Lucas suddenly asked once they got off a ride and clutched onto their heads. Donghyuck froze, remembering all the times he kissed Mark before turning to Lucas and nodding slowly.

"Why...?" Donghyuck tilted his head and eyed Lucas with confusion. "Have you never?"

"No." Lucas huffed, before spinning around on his heels to leave. Donghyuck raised his eyebrow before jogging forwards to catch up with the older.

"What comes?" Donghyuck questioned. "I thought you would've had your first kiss by now."

"Of course I wouldn't have," Lucas frowned. "I'm saving my first kiss."

Donghyuck gasped at the cute thing Lucas said, and covered his mouth with his hand. This twenty one or so year old man who had never had his first kiss, hell, he hadn't even been in a relationship, and he was saying it was because he wanted to save it.

"That's so cute," Donghyuck spoke his thoughts out loud, smiling at the way Lucas got flustered and shrugged his shoulders. 

"I mean," Lucas cleared his throat, averting his eyes and took a deep breath. "I wanna have my first kiss with someone cute."

"Someone cute? Like your crush?" Donghyuck teased, wiggling his eyebrows and absolutely enjoyed the way Lucas stuttered and huffed his cheeks out.

"I was wondering...if you know—you could—um kiss me?" Lucas coughed, holding a hand to his mouth and avoided eye contact again. Donghyuck paused and looked at Lucas with shock. Well he wasn't expecting that.

"But Lucas-"

"As a friend," Lucas cleared out. "I just- you don't have to if you don't want to. Sorry for making you uncomfortable."

Donghyuck ducked his head, feeling a little embarrassed by what he was going to do next, before standing on his tiptoes and raised his head. Lucas held his breath as Donghyuck neared him, scared to ruin the moment or the kiss. Donghyuck closed his eyes before placing his lips on Lucas', and pushing ever so slightly. Lucas stood still, as he let Donghyuck take control of the kiss.

As they parted, Lucas let out the breath he was holding and then covered his reddening face.

"Oh my god," Lucas muttered, before pulling his hand away.

"Was it—" Before Donghyuck could say anything else, he saw Renjun run past Lucas, stuffing his face into a plushie whilst trying to stifle his tears. "Renjun?"

Lucas snapped his head in the direction Donghyuck was looking before turning back around and telling Donghyuck he had to leave.

As Lucas left, Donghyuck blinked in confusion before spinning around to make his way home. But as he was about to go, he caught sight of a certain black haired male, sulking on the bench. A sigh escaped his lips before he glanced back at Lucas, who had his arms wrapped around Renjun.

"Mark's such an idiot."


	36. Day 224.3

Lucas took a deep breath, before tightening his grip on his younger and smaller best friend. He was out on a friendly hangout with Donghyuck, trying to become a better friend with him, when he saw Renjun run past him in tears. He wouldn't have chased him, in all honesty, because they had boundaries and Renjun hated it when people comforted him whilst he was crying.

But this time, Lucas hurried after him, grabbing his arm and enveloped him into a warm embrace. At first, Renjun froze, and tried to pull away, feeling embarrassed that he looked like a mess in front of his friend of 10 years. However, after a few moments, when Renjun finally realised that Lucas wasn't going to let go, he coughed before clutching onto Lucas' shirt and muffling his quiet sobs in his chest.

It was awkward, mostly because they were still in public and people were giving them strange looks, but also because the two had never even hugged before. You would have expected best friends who have known each other since they were kids to have hugged, and spent a lot of time together. But they hadn't.

It was partially Renjun's fault, because he never let anyone in through his large barriers, and made sure no one ever got to see his weak side, or even know a weak side of him existed. Lucas, on the other hand, was quite expressive of the way he felt. He had cried in front of Renjun so many times that he lost count of it. It wasn't because he was a sensitive or emotional person but because he trusted Renjun with everything, and couldn't help but let go of all of his emotions around him.

That was one of the reasons why Lucas tried to separate himself from Renjun.

After discovering the fact that he had fallen in love with his best friend, he made sure to stay away, give him some space as well. Clearly, Lucas leaving Renjun's side was a horrible thing, as Renjun got himself mixed up with Mark and became a mess.

"Let's go somewhere else," Lucas said, pulling away slightly to look down at Renjun, who lowered his head and hummed in agreement. The walk to Renjun's house wasn't long, but it sure was tense. The glances Renjun gave to Lucas, whilst Lucas knew he was doing so, it was a little too much after being apart from him for so long 

"It's nothing," Is what Renjun said as soon as Lucas closed the door. "You don't have to worry."

"Renjun," Lucas sighed, turning around to face the younger, who only diverted his eyes to another corner of the room. "I know something happened, so please just tell me."

To be honest, Renjun didn't know what happened. Of course, he felt disappointed in himself for letting his guard down and allowing himself to be heartbroken by someone like Mark, but he didn't understand why he broke down so badly. It had never happened to him before, and his emotions had never taken control of him like this.

Perhaps it was because he kept all of his emotions bottled up, so when they finally found a way out, they burst through his barrier and he cried out in public.  _ Embarrassing _ , Renjun thought.

"I broke up with Mark," Renjun said, choosing to lie and instead of telling Lucas the truth, which he himself wasn't sure of but figured it was related to the lack of him expressing his feelings. 

"And it was so hard on you that you cried like that?" Lucas questioned, taking a step forward causing Renjun to take one back. 

"I guess," Renjun mumbled, moving his head to the side as Lucas took another step towards him. The itching feeling to push Lucas away like he always did wasn't there. Normally, he would hate it when Lucas would invade his personal space, but for once, he didn't stop him.

"Did you really like Mark that much?" Lucas said, with a hint of sadness present in his voice but he doubted Renjun even noticed it. He never did.

"Maybe," Renjun ducked his head, blinking to get rid of the tears that formed in his eyes because of the rush with emotions returning. 

"Renjun-ie," Lucas said, placing a hand on Renjun's shoulder and tugging him forwards. "I've been wanting to say something to you for a while."

Renjun leaned forwards and hit his head softly against Lucas' shoulder. He let out a sigh, before raising his arms and wrapping them around Lucas, although his fingers couldn't meet each other as he was much tinier. 

"What is it?" Renjun asked, tilting his head up and tiptoeing to get closer to him, something he had never done before. It felt nice. Lucas felt warm against him. It was comforting.

Lucas remained silent for a while, debating whether or not he would finally say it out loud. After years of watching Renjun keep himself closed off, and then opening up to Mark, only to feel worse by doing that, maybe it was time. He had his barriers down and was willing to take things he had never allowed before.

A wave of hesitation ran through Lucas again, before he closed his eyes and pulled Renjun closer, feeling his heartbeat fasten and his body heat up.

"Renjun I..." Lucas took a deep breath again, unconsciously shaking (which Renjun noticed and pat his head to calm him down). "I want you to know that I will always be here for you."


	37. Day 225

"Stop doing this to yourself," Donghyuck muttered, glancing at his reflection in the mirror. He reached for his tooth brush and sighed again. "He doesn't like you, and never will."

After what had happened yesterday, all Donghyuck could think about was whether or not Mark liked him. He had to understand that,

"Mark just broke up," Donghyuck frowned, stuffing his face with his toothbrush and then glared at his reflection for speaking the truth. "He needs time."

But then again did it really take Mark that long to move on from Donghyuck? When Donghyuck woke up, he looked around and asked for Mark, confused as to why he wasn't there. Choosing to message him instead of letting the doctors contact him, Donghyuck reached for his phone and laughed at the amount of messages Mark sent him. Only Mark would take the time out to do this for Donghyuck.

However, once the app had loaded, and the screen jumped to the top of the messages, Donghyuck scrolled down, his large smile slowly and slowly dropping, resulting in tears falling from his eyes and a sob escape his mouth.

Mark left him? For someone he had only met a few weeks ago?

At first, Donghyuck refused to believe it, because he saw how Mark clearly was dating Renjun only because Donghyuck was in a coma and he couldn't handle the pressure and stress that came with it. But as a few hours passed, and Donghyuck kept thinking about it, he realised that it might've also meant that Mark really lost his love for Donghyuck.

He really didn't love him anymore.

So Donghyuck picked his phone up, wiping his tears and got his keyboard ready. His fingers were shaky, since they hadn't been used in a while, and a nervous feeling washed over him. Donghyuck eyed the last message Mark sent him before replying, his heart dropped when he saw Mark read it as soon as it was delivered. 

Lying to the doctors was the hardest part, in Donghyuck's opinion. He had to pretend that he didn't know who he was or who anyone else was. He had to joke around with Mark as if he had just met him, and not fall into any habits. That's why he chose to call Mark by his Korean name instead, thinking it would help him not accidentally say a nickname or slip up by declaring his love.

But after all those efforts, all those new friendships, the amount of distancing Donghyuck did, it was all useless. Because everything still came back. All of his feelings, all of his memories, all of his thoughts. All of the love he had. 

Yet, none of it mattered.

Because Mark didn't love him back.

Mark was still head over heels for Renjun, who Donghyuck assumed is an amazing person to have been able to make his— make Mark so infatuated with him. 

Donghyuck sighed as he wiped his mouth to clean the toothpaste away. The negative thoughts in his head were flooding and drowning the positive and more reasonable ones. He stole one last glance at himself, before shuffling out of the bathroom, deciding to maybe get out and distract himself so that he would stop thinking about Mark.

"Donghyuck?" Mark asked, just as Donghyuck was about to leave. Feeling a rush of panic, Donghyuck turned around to face Mark, who had dark eye bags and red cheeks plastered over his pale skin. In all honesty, he looked terrible. "Where are you going?"

"Out?" Donghyuck said, more in a questioning tone than he liked. Mark nodded and the atmosphere became awkward —Mark poking his head out from his bedroom and Donghyuck a step out of the house wasn't the most ideal position. Before Donghyuck could finally leave, the latter spoke up again.

"Can I join you? I have something to say," Mark lowered his head, curling his toes and hoped Donghyuck would agree.

As much as Donghyuck wanted to refuse, tell him that they shouldn't be hanging out together especially since Donghyuck wanted to clear his thought about Mark himself, he took a deep breath before smiling.

"Yeah sure."


	38. Day 225.2

Mark glanced over to his side, eyeing Donghyuck, who only tilted his head even more away from Mark, trying to not see his face. The walk was quiet and that might've been because it was so early in the morning that no one had woken up, or maybe because the awkward silence between two was the reason there was nothing to be heard. As much as Donghyuck wanted to speak to Mark, ask him things related to Renjun and whether or not he truly had no feelings left for Donghyuck, he was afraid. Afraid that Mark really didn't love him anymore, and that Mark was still stuck up on Renjun.

"You okay?" Mark's voice echoed through the streets, snapping Donghyuck out of his thoughts, and he barely missed a lamp post before looking up at Mark and smiled. 

"Yeah I'm fine," He lied through his smile, turning his attention back to the road and hoped the other wouldn't speak for the rest of their walk. But of course, not everything works out the way you want it to.

"Do you remember anything?" Mark asked, causing Donghyuck to choke on air a little before replying.

"I remember bits and pieces, you know, from before early highschool," Donghyuck said, making sure to say the last bit clearly, reason being that he began to date Mark a few weeks into highschool, finally gaining the courage to ask him out after being friends with him for some time. However, he didn't want Mark to know he remembered everything, otherwise it would've been awkward for the elder. He was know that Donghyuck was already aware of all his lies.

"What about the time we spent together?" Mark pressed, tilting his head to the side to get a better view of the younger's face. He wanted to know if Donghyuck remembered everything and whether or not he could forgive him for lying about their relationship, although he knew he didn't deserve it.

"Nothing, sorry," Donghyuck cleared his throat before stopping. "Wanna head back? It's getting kinda cold and you don't really have the best immune system, Markie."

Before Mark could answer, Donghyuck spun around on his heels, shuffling forwards and rushing towards their apartment, blood rushing to his cheeks as he tried his best to get the image of Mark's worried and desperate face out of his mind.

Mark stood still, recalling what Donghyuck had just said.  _ What did he mean by 'best immune system'. Wait, Markie? _ A thought crossed his mind and he immediately jumped forwards, grabbing Donghyuck's arm and holding him in place. 

"Huh- Minhyung?" Donghyuck stuttered, staring up at the elder with confusion, and nervousness because he was so surprised by the action. "What happened?"

"What did you mean by Markie?" Mark asked, inching forwards, causing Donghyuck to shuffle back, dragging his feet against the ground in attempt to create space between them. 

"Oh sorry, must've slipped my tongue," Donghyuck nervously laughed, his heart beating loudly in his ear and the stare Mark was giving wasn't any better.

"You," Mark licked his lips, a sour expression forming on his face and his voice becoming smaller as he spoke. "You remember everything, don't you?"


	39. Day 225.3

**Mark**  
He remmbers

  
**Jeno**  
What?

**Mark**  
He remembers Jeno

  
**Jeno**  
Who remembers?

**Mark**  
Hyuck

**Mark**  
He rembers it all

  
**Jeno**  
Mark can you please speak properly?

 **Jeno**  
And what do you mean Donghyuck remembers?

 **Jeno**  
Did he get all of his memories back

**Mark**  
Nevr lost them

**Mark**  
Cant spk pprly

**Mark**  
He lefr me

  
**Jeno**  
What?

 **Jeno**  
I'm coming over Mark

**Mark**  
Not home

  
**Jeno**  
Then where are you?

**Mark**  
Jaemin

  
**Jeno**  
I'll be there soon


	40. Day 225.4

"What the fuck is wrong with him?" Jeno asked as soon as he entered Jaemin's apartment, eyeing the Mark, who remained sprawled across the floor, a glass bottle in his clutches and tears rolled down his face continuously.

"I'm sure not, but from what I can make out," Jaemin sighed, holding hand to his head because Mark had been over so a whole hour now but he had still not explained his full story. "Donghyuck never forgot his memories? He just wanted Mark to be happy with Renjun, so he pretended to not remember and only today Mark found out."

"Oh, that's bad," Jeno bit his lip, watching as Mark started singing quietly, his voice getting louder and louder. "Can you shut him up, I'm trying to think."

"I've been trying!" Jaemin groaned out of frustration, throwing his hands up to show his annoyance."He's just been crying and crying, and singing at the top of his lungs."

Mark had arrived at his house not as drunk as he was right now. He was slightly tipsy and had a bunch of bottles in his arms. Tears were already on his face and Jaemin couldn't exactly tell his friend to leave whilst he was going through a heartbreak, for about the third time in just this year.

The whole hour that Mark spent at Jaemin's was filled with him sobbing uncontrollably, chugging down the bottles despite Jaemin's warnings. All he had managed to say was what Jaemin had just explained.

"So what do we do?" Jeno asked, sitting on the dining table and stole glances at Mark every now and then. 

"I don't know," Jaemin ruffled his head, trying to block out Mark's singing. "Mark said Hyuck left him, so maybe first we should find out where he disappeared to."

"Okay, okay I'll message him," Jeno ran a hand through his hair and then pulled his phone out, hoping his once upon a time best friend would reply.

**Jeno**

Hyuck

**Donghyuck**

Jeno

**Jeno**

Where are you?

**Donghyuck**

Friends house

**Jeno**

Which friend

**Donghyuck**

You don't know them 

**Jeno**

Donghyuck

**Jeno**

You remember it all don't you

**Donghyuck**

Never forgot haha

**Jeno**

Why'd you lie

**Donghyuck**

Why'd you get my fiancé to got on a date with someone knowing he's emotionally unstable 

  
  


Jeno paused, looking down at his phone with a bit of shock because of the harsh words, but he knew it was his fault. It was all his fault. He was the one who thought it would be a great idea to make Mark meet Renjun. He was the one who told Renjun to try and date Mark. He was the one who told Mark to stay away from Donghyuck, in an attempt to give him space and let Donghyuck find new friends, completely leaving them. 

He was at fault and he knew it.

"What happened?" Jaemin shook him out of his thoughts, worried because of the crestfallen expression on his face. "What did Donghyuck say?"

"You're speak—speaking to Donghyuck?" Mark called out, getting up from the floor, only to tumble back down, drained out of his strength because of the alcohol pulsing through his body. "I miss, Donghyuck."

Jeno and Jaemin watched as Mark wiped his face, yet the tears were still there. He leaned on the sofa and sighed, the look on his face hurting both of them.

"I miss Donghyuck," Mark repeated, his voice less slurred than before. "I miss talking to him normally. I miss hearing him call me cute names. I miss cuddling with him. I miss kissing him. I miss—" Mark paused, a sob escaping his mouth as a cough. "I miss loving him."

"That's it," Jaemin got up, shaking his head and hurrying over to Mark's side. "We're getting you to Hyuck and you're going to tell him everything."

"I already tried that," Mark protested, trying to get rid of the arms on him but failing to do, which resulted in him getting catapulted into the air. "He told me he remembers everything and that he wants me to be happy without him."

"But can you? Can you be happy without Donghyuck?" 

Mark remained quiet for a while, the occasional sniffle echoing in the room, and Jeno heard his heart break as he heard Mark's next words.

"No. I could never be happy without Donghyuck."

"Exactly," Jaemin reasoned, pulling Mark to the door and gestured for Jeno to follow. "We're going to go search for Donghyuck, and make you confess to him about your problems. Then we're going to ask him about how he feels towards you, and then we're going to get a happy ending. Hopefully."

Jaemin muttered the last word under his breath, unsure about his own plan but still pushed Mark out of the apartment, throwing his house keys to Jeno, before helping Mark get into the car (which was difficult since the elder kept kicking and yelling, and Jaemin was so sure he was going to get in trouble by his neighbours the next day).

"I'm sorry," Jeno whispered, his voice getting muffled by the small sound of the radio, but Mark still heard him and so did Jaemin, yet none of them replied. 

He wasn't going to be forgiven that easily.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Donghyuck," Jaemin said, holding his phone up to his ear and waited for the latter to reply. After an hour of calling and driving around town, Donghyuck finally picked up. "Where are you?"

" _Like I said before to Jeno, who I'm sure is next to you, I'm at a friend's house."_

"Donghyuck, where is this house?" Jaemin said softly, leaning onto the window and stared out of his car. He was tired. Tired of seeing his best friends fall apart like this. It was all going fine before the accident, and then Renjun entered the picture, Mark got with him, Donghyuck woke up, Renjun broke up with Mark, Donghyuck revealed the fact that he actually hadn't forgotten anything. Jaemin wondered what he had done in his previous life to be forced to live in a stupid sad angsty teenage movie. 

" _Jaemin_..." Donghyuck started, but he got interrupted by someone else. 

" _Hey, Haechannie, Jisung and I were wondering if you wanted to go out?"_

_"Uhh, I'm not really in the mood, sorry. You guys can go! I'll take care of the house?"_

_Jisung_? Jaemin thought, furrowing his eyebrows and turnee to Jeno. They knew a Jisung, but then again this could be any Jisung, there were so many in the world. But if it happened to be their Jisung, then that would mean Donghyuck was at—

" _Yup don't worry, Chenle, see ya_!"

"Bingo," Jaemin said, quickly hanging up on Donghyuck, who asked him what he was saying, and turned to Jeno. "He's at Chenle and Jisung's."

"Hurry up!" Mark yelled, the effect from the alcohol was still present and he slapped Jaemin's arm. "Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up."

"Alright, alright, shut up, Mark," Jaemin scoffed, quickly switching the engine on and drove out of the parking space they were in. Jaemin went through the streets, trying to remember the road Jisung had said he lived on. Although they weren't really close, Jaemin knew who Jisung was, because they were friends of friends, but he had gone to his house once, when the younger had just moved in with his boyfriend. 

Turning into the road and stopping at the specific house, Jaemin took a deep breath, even though Mark should've been the one to panic and stress over what was going to happen. Jeno put his hand on Jaemin's shoulder, giving him a comforting look, that didn't help much, before they all got out of the car, their hearts beating faster and faster as they took big steps towards the house. 

There was no car in the drive and they assumed the younger two had already left Donghyuck alone, which meant they had enough time, and space, to talk things out. 

"I'm scared," Mark voiced pretty much all three of their thoughts and knocked on the door softly, almost as if he was trying his best to not disturb anyone. 

"Knock properly," Jaemin rolled his eyes, reaching over Mark and then knocked on the door louder than Mark had done. A small voice was heard from the other side and a figure appeared at the door. The sound of keys and locks being opened were made before the door got pulled to the side, revealing a red eyed Donghyuck, standing right in front of them, his smile dropping as he made eye contact with Mark.

"Mark...you guys," Donghyuck made an attempt to shut the door on them but Jeno pushed through, eager to fix the mistake he created. The trio hurried into the house before Donghyuck could try anything else and quickly shut it, turning around to face him with wide, pleading eyes. "What're you guys doing here?"

"We need to talk, properly. And for once," Jaemin said, taking a step forward and eyed the other three in the hallway. "Can we please speak the truth?"


	41. Day 225.5

"It's all my fault," Jeno said, stopping all of them from speaking. "I saw how Mark was completely broken because of Hyuck's injury, so I told him to meet up with Renjun, who I had told to try and befriend Mark. I didn't know Donghyuck had a chance to... You know."

Donghyuck sighed whilst Jaemin rolled his eyes at his own boyfriend's antics (although he did help with quite a lot of them).

"I was worried that Mark would end up feeling too hurt if anything was to happen to Donghyuck, so Renjun was there to distract him—"

"So you used Renjun's emotions just to help Mark, knowing it was a bad thing to do?" Donghyuck asked, raising an eyebrow and leaned back on one of his heels. The trio standing opposite him eyed his movement, surprised as to how they hadn't realised his behaviour was still the same to his previous self. Honestly, it was so clear.

"I—" Jeno choked on his words, holding his head low and shut his eyes tight. He messed up. And he knew he messed up and maybe Donghyuck would hate him for all of this, Mark as well. God, why did he think this was a good idea? Out of all the things he could do, Jeno had to find the most horrible method to help Mark.

"It's my fault as well," Mark said, putting a hand to Jeno and Jaemin, pushing them away and turned to Donghyuck, his cheeks still tinted red and his eyes droopy because of how much he had cried, and Donghyuck almost felt bad for being the reason behind it. Then again, Mark was the reason he had spent so many months drowning in self-doubt and pity.

"I was the one who believed Renjun," Mark continued, taking a step towards Donghyuck, "I was the one who gave up on you so quickly. I was the one who thought it would be a good idea leaving your side, just because I was fricking lonely and unstable. I was—"

"Shut up," Donghyuck interrupted, shaking his head and took a step back, only now realising that Mark had come so close to him. "I know what you did, and I understand. You must've seen me on the bed and thought, 'well fuck he's most probably dead' so you left me for Renjun, who was very much alive. I get it. You don't need to force yourself to be with me now that I'm back."

"No, Donghyuck—"

"I get it. You must've felt embarrassed that your boy— sorry, fiancé was in a coma," Donghyuck clenched his fists and averted his eyes to the floor, not wanting to break down in front of them. At least not them. They were the cause of all his misery. If Mark had kept his promise to Donghyuck (where he said he would love Donghyuck forever, even if he was to ever get hurt), if Jeno minded his own business or even looked for less stupid ways to help Mark, and if Jaemin actually decided to interfere rather than support his boyfriend blindly; maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"That's not what I thought at all!" Mark huffed out in disbelief. How could Donghyuck think that? Mark loved him more than he loved anyone else. Mark would sacrifice anything for him. The only reason why he had been so easily distracted by Renjun was probably because of how desperate he was to get love. He needed a pillar for support, for love. Renjun was there to give it, regardless of whether it was fake or not.

"Really?" Donghyuck scoffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "And that why you couldn't even wait, what, 5 months for me? Oh, and don't even use the 'I was mentally unstable' excuse on me, because so was I when I woke up, but did you see me running around begging for attention of strangers?" 

"You can't say that!" Mark cried out, his eyes stung again and he felt a headache form. He had been crying way too much recently. "I spent those 5 months crying over you. Do you know how much guilt I felt when I woke up in the hospital to find out that you were the one who went through that shit instead of me? I felt horrible! I thought about what would happen if you would wake up and remember the incident. I thought about how you would blame me and hate me and tell me you never want to see me again. Donghyuck I— I thought I would lose you even if you were to wake up."

With that, Mark fell to the ground, shocking the three standing beside him. He brought his hands to his face and tried to muffle his sons but everything could be heard clearly. Donghyuck froze on his spot as he watched Mark sob on the floor. He looked like a mess. Donghyuck had wished that one day Mark would look like a mess, the same type of mess he had become when he woke up from his coma. When he read the texts Mark sent him. When he realised Mark no longer loved him. When he realised Mark probably wanted to cut off all contact with him. When he realised Mark was no longer his.

"Can—" Donghyuck took a deep breath, grimacing at the fact that his voice cracked when he spoke. "Can you guys please leave? Just...give me time, please?"

Jeno exchanged a look of worry with Jaemin but they both nodded. They bent down and helped a reluctant Mark up. He had tears staining his cheeks and Donghyuck looked away. He knew he'd break if he saw Mark cry like this. It was what he wanted, but why did it still hurt so much?

"No, Donghyuck, please listen!" Mark threw his hands up and tried to shrug Jaemin and Jeno off, but their grip was strong. "I really didn't want to hurt you. I swear, I never intended to hurt you."

Mark was dragged out of the door yet he still stood his ground, fighting against Jeno and Jaemin. Donghyuck held the door handle tightly before finally looking up, holding in the urge to say three simple words that could solve everything. In the end, he did say three words, but they weren't the ones he wanted to use.

"But you did."

And the door closed.


	42. Day 230

**Chenle**  
Hyuckie :(

**Me**  
Lele :(

  
**Chenle**  
Come out with Jisung and I please

**Me**  
I'm really not in the mood to go out

  
**Chenle**   
Is this because of M*ark

**Me**  
Baby, that's not how you censor names

  
**Chenle**  
Oh...

 **Chenle**  
Is this about ****

**Me**  
...

**Me**  
That's still not how you censor it

**Me**  
But no

**Me**  
This isn't because of Mark

  
**Chenle**  
Then what is it?

**Me**  
I'm tired

**Me**  
It might be because the medicine I've been having for the past few months finished and I haven't got any for a while

**Chenle**  
:0

  
**Chenle**  
Hyung!!

 **Chenle**  
You need that medicine though!

**Me**  
I know I know

**Me**  
It's just I haven't gotten the time to go out and buy it

  
**Chenle**  
You could've told me or Jisung. We literally live with you

**Me**  
Technically I'm the one living with you guys

**Chenle**  
And it's perfectly fine with us

**Me**  
I know I know

**Me**  
I just feel as if I'm overstaying, you know?

**Me**  
Like, it's been five days, nearly a week. I should've fixed the issue I have with Mark and moved back to my apartment

**Me**  
I shouldn't be ruining the routine I made just because of Mark

  
**Chenle**  
It's okay if you want to take your time

 **Chenle**  
What Mark did wouldn't have been easy to digest

 **Chenle**  
It's understandable if you want to process everything slowly

**Me**  
I don't know

**Me**  
I'm gonna sleep

**Me**  
Too tired

  
**Chenle**  
I'll buy your medicine today then

 **Chenle**  
Anyways, sleep well hyung

**Me**  
I will

**Me**  
Thanks chenle ♡

  
**Chenle**  
♡♡


	43. Day 231

**Mark**  
It's been six days

  
**Jeno**  
Hyung. I'm sorry

**Mark**  
I won't say it's okay, but I won't say it's all your fault either

**Mark**  
I did this to myself. Sure you initiated it all, but I went along with it

**Jeno**  
I shouldn't have intervened. If I didn't make Renjun meet you, then in just a few months Hyuck would've woken up and the two of you would've been happy

**Mark**  
We can't change the past

**Mark**  
We have to just fix the present and hope for a better future

  
**Jeno**  
Yeah, we should

**Mark**  
You know what's so funny?

  
**Jeno**  
What is?

**Mark**  
I had a calender counting on my phone. It was going up in days. It reached 231 today

  
**Jeno**  
What was it for?

**Mark**  
I was counting how many days it would take before Donghyuck would wake up

  
**Jeno**  
Oh

 **Jeno**  
But why haven't you stopped it yet?

**Mark**  
I guess

**Mark**  
I guess my mind decided to change the meaning behind the counting

  
**Jeno**  
So what does it stand for now?

**Mark**  
It's counting how many days before Hyuck will officially be mine again, awake and with me

  
**Jeno**  
Hyung

**Mark**  
I swear I'm not trying to ruin the mood! It's genuinely funny

**Mark**  
I honestly still think there's a chance that Hyuck would come back to me. Me, who cheated on him. Me, who lied to him. Me, who lost the last opportunity there could've ever been for me to get him back.

**Mark**  
I'm so selfish

**Mark**  
I really don't deserve Donghyuck

  
**Jeno**  
Hyung, don't say that

 **Jeno**  
You weren't in the right mindset when you began to date Renjun

**Mark**  
But when Hyuck woke up? Renjun had told me he would understand if I chose to go back to Donghyuck. But did I? No

**Mark**  
I didnt

  
**Jeno**  
Just hope for the better

**Mark**  
It won't come

**Mark**  
Better won't come

**Mark**  
But I'll continue dreaming it will

  
**Jeno**  
Mark hyung  
 _Seen : 17:28_


	44. Day 232

**Chenle**  
Jisung

  
**Jisung**  
What's up, Chenle?

**Chenle**  
Have you seen Haechan hyung?

  
**Jisung**  
Uhhh no???

 **Jisung**  
Why? Is he not in his room?

**Chenle**  
Uhm no

**Chenle**  
I searched the entire house for him

**Chenle**  
I'm not sure where he is. His medicine was left untouched and his bed is clean

  
**Jisung**   
Try calling him

 **Jisung**  
I'm sure nothing's wrong

**Chenle**  
I hope so :(

  
**Jisung**  
I'll ask Jaemin hyung if he knows where Haechan hyung is

**Chenle**  
Wait!!! Don't

  
**Jisung**  
Why??

**Chenle**  
If Jaemin was to find out that he was missing, he would tell Mark and then Mark would come home. Then what if Haechan hyung suddenly appears? They would end up in front of each other and they both don't seem ready for that yet

  
**Jisung**  
Hmmmm

 **Jisung**  
Okay

 **Jisung**  
I'll look around for him once my shift ends

**Chenle**  
Alrighty

  
**Jisung**  
Bye bye ♡

**Chenle**  
Bye

  
**Jisung**  
No heart?  
 _Seen : 12:36_

 **Jisung**  
Ruthless >:(

**Chenle**  
;*


	45. Day 232.2

**Chenle**  
Haechan hyung is missing

  
**Jisung**  
Wait what?

**Chenle**  
Jisung

**Chenle**  
He's not in his room

**Chenle**  
He's not in the house

**Chenle**  
He's not picking his phone up

**Chenle**  
Jisung

**Chenle**  
Where is he

  
**Jisung**  
I don't know

 **Jisung**  
I'm reaching home soon

 **Jisung**  
Should I tell Jaemin hyung?

**Chenle**  
NO

**Chenle**  
They hurt him

  
**Jisung**  
But they'll be able to help search for him

 **Jisung**  
Or maybe he's with them but his phone died?

**Chenle**  
Jisung, I don't know

**Chenle**  
I don't trust them anymore

  
**Jisung**  
We need to find hyung

 **Jisung**  
We need their help

**Chenle**  
Is there no other way?

  
**Jisung**  
...

 **Jisung**  
No

**Chenler**  
Fine

**Chenle**  
Tell them

**Chenle**  
Ask them for help

  
**Jisung**  
I will

 **Jisung**  
I'm coming home soon


	46. Day 232.3

**Jisung**  
Jaemin hyung

  
**Jaemin**  
Jisung?

**Jisung**  
We need your help

  
**Jaemin**  
We? As in you, Chenle and Hyuck?

**Jisung**  
No

**Jisung**  
Just me and Chenle

  
**Jaemin**  
What do you need help with?

**Jisung**  
Donghyuck hyung is missing

  
**Jaemin**  
DONGHYUCK'S MISSING?

**Jisung**  
Yes

**Jisung**  
We need your help finding him

  
**Jaemin**  
What do you mean he's missing?

 **Jaemin**  
Is he not at home?

 **Jaemin**  
Has he called?

 **Jaemin**  
Was he there this morning?

**Jisung**  
He isn't at home. He didn't call. And he was there this morning. Chenle doesn't know when he left the house

  
**Jaemin**  
Shit

 **Jaemin**  
Okay

 **Jaemin**  
I'll tell Jeno and Mark about this

**Jisung**  
No wait

  
**Jaemin**  
What?

**Jisung**  
Can you avoid telling Mark

  
**Jaemin**  
Why?

**Jisung**  
We don't want Mark to be there in case you guys find him

  
**Jaemin**  
But Jisung, if we tell Mark he could help us search for Hyuck

 **Jaemin**  
He knows hyuck better than any of us

**Jisung**  
He also hurt Donghyuck hyung

**Jisung**  
Just

**Jisung**  
Please don't tell Mark about this

**Jisung**  
We don't want to hurt Haechan hyung any further

  
**Jaemin**  
...

 **Jaemin**  
Fine

 **Jaemin**  
We won't

 **Jaemin**  
Me and Jeno are coming over

**Jisung**  
Alright, see you guys soon


	47. Day 323.4

Chenle's foot tapped against the carpeted floor of the car. His eyes wandered from building to building as they went down streets. His heart ached, his eyes were hurting and nothing seemed right. 

"Chenle?" Jisung put his hand on Chenle's arm in an attempt to calm him down. "Stop worrying so much, I'm sure he's okay."

"How can I stop worrying?" Chenle snapped, twisting his head around to give Jisung a glare and Jaemin who sat beside him flinched at his harsh tone. "One day, Haechan hyung is happily talking to us, the next he confronts his old best friends about his life and then after that he goes missing. Everything's so wrong! None of this was supposed to happen!"

"Chenle—"

"No!" He slapped away Jisung's hand and then shrunk in on himself. "Hyung was so sad and lonely when he regained consciousness. When he first messaged me I was so happy. No one ever spoke to me and if they did it was only because they knew you, Jisung. Haechan hyung was the first person after you to ever talk to me without looking at my financial background and try to take money away from me. He was my first actual friend."

The tears in his eyes dropped as he thought about all the things that could've happened to Donghyuck during this time he had disappeared. 

"Hyung told me about how he knew everything," Chenle sniffled, wiping his rough hands against his cheeks. "He told me that he woke up and the first thing he experienced was heartbreak, not happiness. I already knew who he was when he messaged me."

"You did?" Jaemin perked up and glanced over at Chenle, who shoved his head into his hands.

"I did. Jisung spoke a lot about him," Chenle continued. "He never knew about me and we just clicked. I always wanted to know about him...I always wanted to be his friend. But this isn't how I wanted it! I didn't want to be that friend he goes to just because his other friends ditched him!"

The car ride was silent as they continued their journey through the empty streets. Chenle's sniffles could be heard and Jisung was slumped at the back of the car, sulking about how he didn't even realise his boyfriend was going through all this alone. 

They stopped in front of Jisung's house and everyone took a deep breath. The whole day had passed yet nothing had come from Donghyuck. They had considered calling the police and sending a search party out for him, but then again it could be a false alarm. With how emotionally stressed out Donghyuck was, it was obvious he would want a break from everything.

"Shit," Chenle cursed, facepalming as he came to a realisation. "Hyung never had his medicines."

"Wait what—"

And then Jeno got a notification.


	48. C—48

**Jeno**  
Mark hyung where are you?

**Jeno**  
Hyung

**Jeno**  
I know I shouldn't tell you  
this but it's about Donghyuck

**Jeno**  
Please listen to me

**Jeno**  
Stop ignoring me

**Jeno**  
Hyung I know you're mad but listen to me please

**Jeno**  
Please respond soon

**Jeno**  
Mark hyung we need you

**Jeno**  
Hello?

**Jeno**  
Helloooooo

**Jeno**  
Hyunngg

**Jeno**  
Mark hyung?  
_Delivered 19:37_

  
**Mark**  
What is it?

**Jeno**  
Finally you replied!

  
**Mark**  
I was busy

**Jeno**  
With what?

  
**Mark**  
Something

 **Mark**  
Anyways

 **Mark**  
I need to go again

**Jeno**  
Wait

  
**Mark**  
Just before I go I just wanted to tell you

 **Mark**  
Hyucks with me

**Jeno**  
Wait what do you mean by that?  
_Seen 23:56_


	49. Chapter 49

Mark placed his phone to the side and then leaned back into his seat. His hand trailed down the body laying on top of him. He closed his eyes and remembered the way Donghyuck looked at him with anger, sadness and disgust. He deserved all of that (especially the anger). He had left Donghyuck only a few months after he fell into a coma.

Donghyuck shifted a little and his hair poked into Mark's neck, but he paid no mind to it, instead he stuffed his face into the hair, inhaling the sweet smell and smiled to himself. He missed this.

-

It was early morning when Donghyuck arrived at their apartment, a frown on his face and he was constantly moving around. Without any hesitation, Donghyuck pushed Mark out of the way and entered the apartment. Mark watched as Donghyuck ran straight into living and he blinked in confusion. He stood still for a few moments, thinking about why Donghyuck might've come back. Perhaps he was ready to talk to Mark again? Maybe he wanted to fix everything so they could go back to normal? Or maybe Donghyuck had just gotten tired of living in someone else's house instead of him. Maybe.

"Are you coming or not?" Donghyuck said to him from the living room and Mark's ears immediately lit up. He glanced at the mirror in the hallway and ran a hand through his hair. 

"Hey," Mark greeted once he entered the room and Donghyuck could tell he was confused out of his mind. Then again, who won't be? Their ex just appeared at their door after a long fight that seemed unfixable. 

"Hi," Donghyuck breathed out, finally taking in the sight of Mark standing in front of him. His hair was ruffled up and he was looking down at Donghyuck with wide eyes. "We need to talk."

"Yeah," Mark immediately took a seat opposite Donghyuck, choosing to give the younger all the space he wanted and needed. "We do."

"I'll start first," Donghyuck coughed out, bringing a hand to his face as he closed his eyes, the dizziness from not having his medicine was there and he had to blink a few times to get himself back to normal. "I'm angry with you."

"And that's understandable," Mark nodded slowly before holding up his hands when Donghyuck glared at him for interrupting. 

"I'm really, really angry with you," Donghyuck lowered his gaze to his lap and tried to shake off the odd feeling he had when he thought about Mark with someone else whilst he was in a coma. The thought of Mark kissing someone and enjoying it whilst he was laying on his potential death bed. The thought of Mark forgetting about him before crying over the idea of Donghyuck leaving him. What right did Mark have to repent leaving Donghyuck? He chose to go to Renjun on his own. It was partially Jeno's fault, however, Mark couldn't be deemed innocent that quickly. He had his own fair share of mistakes, and confessing to Renjun was one of them.

"When I woke up," Donghyuck continued, picking at the edge of his skin. "I didn't expect you to have left me. I really hadn't. They say people in a coma can hear the things people say around them when they're in that state, but I...after a month I stopped hearing things other than the beeping of the machine beside me and the constant chatter of the nurses that took care of me. I should've known I was no longer important in your life by the absence of your voice, but I guess I was just fooling myself into believing there was hope you had stayed."

Mark shut his eyes closed as he felt the guilt stab him through his chest. He never wanted Donghyuck to feel as if he had left him. He never wanted to leave Donghyuck at all. The feeling he had towards Renjun, it was nothing romantic. However, Mark didn't realise that until Donghyuck returned. The timing was horrible and nothing seemed to be going right for the couple. 

"I saw the stuff you posted with you and Renjun," Donghyuck began to speak again after a prolonged silence, and only then did Mark realise that the younger had started crying. "The cute dates you two went on, the time you spent together in private. I also saw that you had removed all the pictures that contained me."

In all honesty, Mark hadn't actually removed them because of Renjun. He had gotten rid of them a few days after Donghyuck had fallen into a coma. Whenever he opened the app and saw the pictures he had with Donghyuck, his heart ached. He would cry for hours, thinking about Donghyuck and their accident and how much he wished he was the one in Donghyuck's position and not the other way around. But time could not be rewinded and their past could never change, yet their future could. With hopes that Donghyuck would return soon enough, Mark had archived the pictures, saving them for later but not keeping them in view so that they wouldn't cause his heart to ache every moment he spent on the app.

"Did you really start hating me that much?" Donghyuck asked, a tint of anger present in his voice but it was heavily covered by sadness.

"I never hated you," Mark finally spoke up, realising that the younger had finished speaking. "I could never hate you."

"Then why did you leave me?" Donghyuck ran a hand through his hair and shifted awkwardly in his seat. "There has to be a solid reason as to why you left me."

"And there is!" Mark hurriedly said, cutting him off before he could say anything else. Donghyuck stayed quiet for a for moments and he stared at Mark with expectant eyes. Mark knew that whatever he was to say next would dictate how Donghyuck would see him. "I was scared."

"Scared?" Donghyuck scoffed, rolling his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "Scared of what exactly?" 

"I was scared that you would leave me," Mark lowered his gaze, burning down eyehole into his palm and felt his cheeks warm up in embarrassment. "That one day I would arrive at the hospital and they would tell me you were no more. God... Donghyuck, they used to tell me there was a very low chance for you to survive. I felt guilty...so, so, so guilty. Why did you have to be the one to fall into a coma? Why wasn't it me?"

Mark kept his eyes low and blinked back the tears in his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He had never actually said that out loud ever since Donghyuck had woken up. "So, just because I was close to death you left me before I could leave you?" Donghyuck asked with no sympathy in his tone. Mark could understand why he would be so frustrated. Mark himself was annoyed at all of this.

"No...that's not why I left you," Mark bit down on his lip, chewing it hard enough to draw blood and quickly ran his tongue over the cut. He heard Donghyuck hiss at his action but chose to ignore it. "When I met Renjun, he reminded me of you. He was kind but always had a snarky comeback ready to make me feel stupid. When we would do things together, all I could think about was how you and I did them. The ice skating trip, the movies, even when he just hung out at his house...everything brought me back to you."

"And you thought that dating Renjun would be the best alternative for me?" Mark shut his eyes close and his grip on his jeans tightened. He wanted to voice how Donghyuck was completely right, but after hearing what he had done, it was so stupid. He was so embarrassed. Why did he ever think that was a good idea? "Mark, answer me."

"I—" He swallowed hard when he heard Donghyuck get up from his seat and shuffle towards him. Was he going to hit Mark? It made sense if he was to do that. Mark deserved all the hits Donghyuck could send his way. The punches Donghyuck would lay on Mark could never amount to all the heartbreak he caused to all of his friends. 

"Mark," Donghyuck sat down in front of him and placed his warm hands over Mark's cold hands, shivering from the contrast of their body temperatures. "If that was the case, then when I woke up, why didn't you just break things off with Renjun?"

"How could I do that?" Mark let out a sigh of frustration. "Although Renjun was the one who started getting intimate with me, I was the one who asked him out. I was the one who asked him if he could be my boyfriend, even though the person I loved was still alive. I thought Renjun probably loved me. I couldn't break his heart...and you had said that you had forgotten your memories, so I thought that you had been saved the heartbreak. If I was to come back and tell you everything—you...you would've gotten sad and I didn't want that to happen."

"But Renjun didn't care about you," Donghyuck's words were true and that was why they hurt even more than everything else he said. Mark already knew that Renjun never liked him, as a friend or boyfriend. But Donghyuck didn't have to rub salt over the wound. "If he did," Donghyuck continued. "He would've forced you to tell me everything."

"He did, sort of," Mark opened his eyes and saw that Donghyuck was looking up at him with fogged eyes. "He— uh... He told me to talk things out with you, and help you remember everything."

"So why didn't you?" 

"Again, I didn't want you to experience any pain!" Mark jerked his hands out of Donghyuck's grip but regretted it the second the hurt flashed vier the younger's face.

"Mark! I'm not made out of glass, I'm not fragile that you can't tell me you dated another guy whilst I was in my coma," Donghyuck stood up from his seat and Mark snapped his head up. "Why do you make it sound as if just by me finding out that you were technically cheating on me, my life would be ruined."

"I didn't mean it like that—" Before Mark could say anything else, Donghyuck rolled his eyes again and continued.

"It sure seems like it," Donghyuck spun around on his heels and made a beeline for the door. "This was a waste of time, I should've known we couldn't have worked out."

"No— wait!" Mark hastily threw himself off the sofa and caught Donghyuck's hand in his. "Donghyuck please, please don't leave me."

"Not even after everything you did?" Donghyuck glanced over his shoulder. "That's selfish of you." 

"I know, I know, but," Donghyuck pulled his wrist out of Mark's grip and began to open the door. 

"You left me for Renjun because you were scared I would leave you," Donghyuck took a step out of the house and turned around. "You keep thinking I'm delicate to be told the truth. Mark, I know I was the weaker one between us in studies or strength, but emotionally...I'm not some fucking trainwreck."

Donghyuck turned to leave again but then swayed to the right and held onto the side of the door. Mark stared at his back before jumping forwards and caught him as he fell.

"Shit, Donghyuck? What's wrong?" Mark helped the younger back into the house, much to Donghyuck's dismay and lead him straight for the sofa. "Are you okay?"

"Clearly, I'm not," Donghyuck snapped back but then slumped down onto the sofa. He had forgotten to have his medicines and he regretted it a lot. "Just need my meds."

"Do you not have them on you?" Mark awkwardly said, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the tears. He didn't understand how the conversation changed so quickly and whether or not that was a good thing, but he did know he had to take care of Donghyuck.

"No," Donghyuck answered and then placed a hand over his eyes. He was already feeling dizzy since he had arrived at Mark's, but he didn't expect to lose all his strength and energy. "I need them."

"I can get them for you, uh—what's their name?" Mark walked over to the side and picked up his jacket. He bent down and listened for the name of the medicines before rushing over to the door. "I'll be back soon! Once you have your medicine, we're going to continue talking about this."

The sound of the door closing was the last thing Donghyuck heard before he passed out.

-

When Donghyuck woke up again, he felt a growl in his stomach and his head was pounding. Mark was saying something, but he couldn't care less about that. He closed his eyes to sleep again, however, Mark placed his hands on his arms and pulled him up. 

"You have to take your medicine first," Mark said, taking a pill from his hand and held it to Donghyuck's lips. "Come on, open your mouth."

"I can have it myself," Donghyuck made a move for the water and pill and Mark pulled both of them back immediately. 

"Just let me...let me help, please," Donghyuck dropped his hands and slowly parted his lips. He still couldn't trust Mark, yet his heart beat fast as Mark poked the pill into his mouth, his fingers brushing against his lip and causing him to feel giddy. It was stupid, how could he still like Mark after everything he had done? "Can we finish talking now?" 

"What else is there to talk about?" Donghyuck retorted and lay back down in the bed (when did he end up there?)

"I love you," Mark confessed and Donghyuck swore his stomach twisted at the words. "I really do, and I always have. But I was just scared of losing you Donghyuck. I was so, so scared, you don't understand."

"Yeah, I don't, Mark," Donghyuck turned around in the bed, pulling the blanket over his head to cover himself even further. "I don't understand why you would leave me. Could you really not wait that long? Is that how 'strong' your love is for me? Because if so, it's pretty pathetic."

"I know what I did was wrong and absolutely idiotic," Mark sat on the bed beside him. "But I really do love you and you only. I never loved Renjun in that way...perhaps it was platonic. I just, I was being stupid and impulsive back then."

Silence followed and Mark wondered if Donghyuck had fallen asleep, that was before be heard sniffles coming from underneath the blanket.

"I don't want to love you," Donghyuck mumbled and Marks eyes widened at the words. What did he mean by that? Did he want to forget Mark, for real now? "I don't want to go through this pain again. I always wondered what you would do if I was to go to another country for school or work. I always thought you would remain loyal but...but after seeing what you did only whilst I was in a coma. Even though I was in front of your eyes you— you did that."

Mark brought a hand to his face and wiped off the tears that were threatening to fall. He didn't have a right to cry. He was the one who caused all of this to happen. If he hadn't been so weak-willed and cared for Donghyuck more strongly then they wouldn't have broken up. Mark does believe that Jeno and Renjun's act did make his feelings waver for a few moments, but in the end, all he could think about was Donghyuck. As wrong as it was, since he was with Renjun, Donghyuck was always on his mind.

"Please," Mark lowered himself onto the bed, wrapping his arms around the small figure under the sheets. "Please forgive me. I really love you, and only you. I admit my mistake, my problem, the reason why we can't have a smooth relationship. But I promise that if you forgive me, I'll prove to you that I only love you. Please, Donghyuck. Please."

Donghyuck remained frozen under the sheets. He heard what he wanted to hear — Mark begging for his forgiveness — but the sadness in his voice hurt Donghyuck. He didn't want Mark to suffer, although he had wished for it so intently before. He wanted Mark to be happy but experience what he had gone through as well. Of course, in the end, Donghyuck still loved Mark, no matter how hard he tried to forget him. 

The things Mark did for him when they first began to date. The way he treated him with so much care and love, probably more than Donghyuck ever gave him. Donghyuck still remembers the time when Mark defended him against people in their school and that was how they met. Ever since they had met, to be honest, Mark had been protecting him. Ironically, Mark was the one who hurt him the most. 

"Mark..." Donghyuck started and he pulled the blanket off his face. He felt his cheeks heat up when Mark's face appeared beside his. "I don't want to love you. You ruined the trust we built up together over the past years. I should've known when we got engaged so quickly that you were probably too afraid I would leave you so you were just reserving me. You really did do that, didn't you. I don't want to love you. Loving you is painful."

"Has it always been painful?" Mark took Donghyuck's hand in his and shuffled closer, making their noses bump against each other. "It hasn't, has it?" Donghyuck slowly shook his head and Mark felt his head get lighter. "Donghyuck, I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the entire world. Seeing you in the apartment after I broke up with you, it was horrible. Everything was horrible without you. I'm not coming back to you just because Renjun left me, or because you remember. I'm asking for you to accept me once again because I have realised my mistake. Renjun gave me a wake up call when he broke up with me...he reminded me that you were truly the only person I love."

Donghyuck frowned and tried to shuffle away, but then Mark grabbed his cheeks and held him in place. "I understand if you won't forgive me, I have done a lot to hurt you. I was stupid, I know. But all I can say is sorry and that I promise to never do such a thing again." Mark continued and he leaned closer, placing his forehead against Donghyuck's and they both closed their eyes. "We can take our time to go back to the way we are, just please...forgive me."

Donghyuck took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of Mark beside him. Mark was back. He hurt Donghyuck, more than he could imagine, but he was back. He was ready to love Donghyuck again, or maybe he never stopped as Mark claimed. Donghyuck was sure about his feelings. The pain he felt in his heart every time he thought of Mark being away from him, he knew it was love. He couldn't change it. He wouldn't change it. 

"Not yet," Donghyuck sighed and Mark froze next to him. "I'll forgive you when the time comes, but not yet. What if you leave me as soon as I do?"

"Donghyuck," Mark opened his eyes and Donghyuck followed in pursuit. "I will wait as long as I have to for you to forgive me. I promise. This time, I will wait. You can take your time. Even if it takes years, I will wait."

"That's what you said last time, Mark, and did you wait?" Donghyuck's voice wavered. "You didn't. How sure are you that this time you'll be able to wait? How sure are you that you won't find another person that reminds you of me and you'll get with them? Mark, how sure are you that you'll actually be loyal this time?"

"I'm a hundred percent sure," Mark sniffled, rubbing at his eyes. "I promise, I promise that I won't leave you. I'm sorry for ever doing so. Donghyuck, I truly cannot live without you. The time I spent with Renjun, I'm sorry for all of that. I really am. We can spend time together, Donghyuck, and if you feel as if you can't forgive me...then I'll understand. We can leave this relationship, if you want that to happen. But till then, can we please try? Please?"

Donghyuck ran his eyes over Mark's face. It had determination written over it. It could be a cover. Mark could be lying and pretending so that Donghyuck would trust him, only to get betrayed again. But, the way Mark was looking at him. His sweet eyes and soft smile. Donghyuck wished he was making the right decision.

"Alright," Donghyuck mumbled and was immediately enveloped in a hug. "I'll give you some time."

"Thank you so much," Mark stuffed his face into Donghyuck's neck and soon after the younger felt his skin getting damp. "I promise, I promise I won't ever do anything to hurt you again."

"Are you...crying?" Donghyuck chuckled and Mark whined in response.

"It's been so long since we hugged," Mark muttered, tightening his grip on Donghyuck. Mark's hair tickled Donghyuck's neck and the younger felt his heart flood with warmth. He was sure that with time he could learn to forgive Mark. After all, the love he had for him was far greater than the hatred he held. Mark may have cheated on him in a way, but Donghyuck remembers the texts he sent after he kissed Renjun. For a whole month Mark had been apologising for how close he had gotten with Renjun. He had been telling Donghyuck every single thing that had happened. 

Donghyuck would forgive him with time.

"Wait," Mark grunted, picking the phone from the bedside table and then unlocked it. "I've been getting messages all day but I didn't answer them."

"Oh, then answer!" Donghyuck slapped his arm and Mark grumbled again at the sudden attack. "Who was it?"

"Jeno," Mark answered, skimming over the messages and then typed up some texts. "He's talking about you. Did you not tell them that you were coming here?"

"Uhm..." Donghyuck pursed his lips and Mark face-palmed at his antics. 

"Alright, I've told him you're with me," Mark threw his phone to the side and then turned back to Donghyuck, shyly holding up his hand. "Time to...uhm...sleep?"

Donghyuck stared at his raised arm and then back at Mark and then awkwardly shuffled forwards. 

"You know," Mark made a move to gain space between them. "If it's too soon to cuddle, we can go as slow as you—"

"No!" Donghyuck immediately grabbed Mark's arm and jerked him towards him, throwing himself over the older and held him with a tight grip. "Don't let go."

Mark smiled at the body laying upon him and softly placed his hand over Donghyuck's head, caressing it gently. A few tears left his eyes and he realised that Donghyuck was finally back. 

"Don't worry, I'm not letting go."


	50. C — 50

**Chenle**  
Hyung

**Chenle**  
Hyuck hyung

**Chenle**  
Donghyuck hyung

**Chenle**  
Haechan hyung

**Chenle**  
Hellloooo

**Chenle**  
HELLO?

**Chenle**  
Hyung why are you with Mark

**Chenle**  
Hyung 

**Chenle**  
Reply

**Chenle**  
To

**Chenle**  
Me

**Chenle**  
Right 

**Chenle**  
Now

**Chenle**   
HELLOOOO

  
**Donghyuck**  
Oh my god chenle stop

**Chenle**  
HYUNG FINALLY

  
**Donghyuck**  
What's wrong?

**Chenle**  
Where the hell have you  
been the entire day

  
**Donghyuck**  
I've been at my apartment

**Chenle**  
With Mark???? Why?????

  
**Donghyuck**  
I wanted to fix everything between us

**Chenle**  
That doesn't explain why you were missing for 14 HOURS

  
**Donghyuck**  
I'm sorry

 **Donghyuck**  
I know I should've told you  
sooner that I was there

**Chenle**  
...

**Chenle**  
It's fine :')

**Chenle**  
As long as your fine

**Chenle**  
That's all that I care about

  
**Donghyuck**  
:)

**Chenle**  
So...did you and Mark make up?

  
**Donghyuck**  
Yes

**Chenle**  
And what type of make up  
did you guys have 

  
**Donghyuck**  
I'm going to give him time to  
prove whether he loves me or not

**Chenle**  
But hyung

  
**Donghyuck**  
I know I know

 **Donghyuck**  
But if he does anything again  
I will beat him up

**Chenle**  
Yes! You can do that! 

  
**Donghyuck**  
:))

**Chenle**  
Are you gonna come back  
or stay there?

  
**Donghyuck**  
I'm gonna stay here

**Donghyuck**  
I'll come collect my things tomorrow

**Chenle**  
Okyy

**Chenle**  
But hyung remember one thing

  
**Donghyuck**  
???

**Chenle**  
If Mark ever does anything

**Chenle**  
ANYTHING AT ALL

**Chenle**  
I will beat him up and  
won't feel any regret

  
**Donghyuck**  
Okay okay baby I understand

 **Donghyuck**  
I'm going to go now

 **Donghyuck**  
Bye bye :)

**Chenle**  
Bye byeeeeeeee


	51. C — 51

**Jisung**

Why are you sulking?

**Chenle**  
I'm not sulking

  
**Jisung**  
Yes you are

 **Jisung**  
You've been in your room ever since we've come home

**Chenle**  
I'm tired

**Chenle**  
Leave me alone Jisung

  
**Jisung**  
You know I can't do that chenle

 **Jisung**  
Please tell me what's wrong

 **Jisung**  
Hello?

 **Jisung**  
Chenle?  
  
  
  
  
  


The door to Chenle's room opened and the boy walked out of it slowly. He dragged his feet across the floor and sat beside Jisung. Without asking any questions, Jisung opened his arms and Chenle immediately slid into them.

"What's wrong?" Jisung asked, rubbing his head against Chenle's, hoping the older could find it comforting (and he did).

"Haechan hyung is staying with Mark," Chenle mumbled, wrapping his arms around Jisung and shuffled closer.

"Is that bad?" Jisung questioned, bringing a hand up to Chenle's head to brush aside the hair over his eyes. "He's finally back with Mark hyung. They'll finally be happy, don't you think?"

"He hurt Haechan hyung," Chenle argued, shaking his head slightly and tightened his grip. "He made hyung cry and made hyung sick. He made hyung miserable."

"But he also made him really happy," Jisung countered, remembering all the times Donghyuck would tell him about his happy memories with Mark. "He made hyung feel loved. He made Donghyuck hyung enjoy life."

Chenle remained silent and kept his grip on Jisung strong. He understood what the younger was saying but it didn't make any sense. How did Donghyuck go from hating Mark to loving him so quickly?

"Because the line between love and hate is very thin," Jisung explained, pulling away from Chenle too look down at him. "You thought out loud. But yeah, the line between love and hate is very thin, that's why being in a relationship is so stressful, you can slip at any time. Donghyuck hyung said he hated Mark hyung, but that was only because he had broken his trust. He always loved Mark hyung, and it seems like he always will. Nothing will ever change that. Let's be happy that they're together again, okay?"

"Fine," Chenle huffed out and stuck his head back into Jisung's chest. "If hyung is happy, then I'm happy as well."

"That's my baby," Jisung cooed and quickly let out a squeak when Chenle poked his fingers into his stomach.


	52. C — 52

Donghyuck let out a sigh as he watched Mark run around the room. Grunts of distress left Mark's mouth as he pat his legs and then snapped his head in Donghyuck's direction.

"Duckie, do you know where my phone is?" Mark asked, hurriedly making his way to Donghyuck.

"Yeah," He answered, before gesturing to the phone laying upon the kitchen counter. Mark yelled in happiness and kissed Donghyuck smack on the lips before running over to grab his phone.

"I have one lecture today," Mark explained as he threw his laptop into his bag and his charger alongside it. "I might have a lab, but it depends on the professor," Mark continued speaking as he walked around the room, picking him his necessary items before stopping in front of Donghyuck. "So I might be late but I promise we're gonna go out for dinner tonight."

"Aye aye, Mark Lee. Better not break your promise," Donghyuck nodded and Mark chuckled. 

"When have I ever broken a promise?" Mark leaned forward with his lips pouted. Donghyuck rolled his eyes but still grabbed the older's face and pulled him into a kiss. Even after so many years of dating, Donghyuck hadn't gotten over the butterflies that erupted in his stomach when he kissed Mark. It always felt new, felt special, and felt like they had all the time in the world. "I'm gonna be late! God, you're so lucky you have reading week."

Mark swung his bag over his shoulders and dashed straight for the door. 

"Bye bye!" Mark called out, closing the door behind him.

"Bye bye," Donghyuck mumbled and he smiled at the door. He brought his hands together and looked down at them, smile widening at the sight of the silver band around his finger. It had been two yearz since Mark and Donghyuck had made up. It wasn't much of a surprise that after only half a year the two fell back into their normal routine and their traditions continued (the Sunday movie nights and Friday drinking nights). 

Just a month ago, Mark had returned Donghyuck's engagement ring to him. He hadn't done a big arrangement like he did last time, since he believed that Donghyuck owned the ring, just wasn't ready to have the title it had with it back yet. It may seem odd to others, as they were still university students, but they thought that nothing could break them apart (something did, however, they managed to fix it). 

"Ah," Donghyuck said as he sat down on the sofa, thankful that he didn't have any lessons that day. "I really love him."

The door to the apartment opened and Mark ran in.

"Donghyuck," Mark whined, dropping his bag to the side and shut the door with his foot. "Why didn't you tell me today was a Saturday?!"

(In the end they didn't go out to eat because Mark was being petty and Donghyuck didn't mind staying at home, if it meant he could cuddle with his fiancé for longer.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely understand if you didn't forgive Mark for what he had done to Donghyuck, but Donghyuck forgave him after a year and a half. In that time, Mark managed to prove that his love wasn't fake nor was it pathetic (at least it was no longer pathetic) and they got back together. Mark was reluctant at first when Donghyuck suggested they began to date, saying that he was more than happy to wait longer if that would make Donghyuck comfortable but in the end they happily got together. 
> 
> If you're not pleased with the ending then...I'm sorry. I posted this elsewhere and the ending was a little bit different so I'm trying to see how big the small difference could cause. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading :D


	53. C — 53 — Lucas, the perfect friend

Lucas was always just Renjun's best friend, he was nothing more than that — and he couldn't be since Renjun was too closed off. The younger always kept away all the secrets in his heart with a heavy metal lock which could only be unlocked if Renjun trusted you enough, and Renjun never put his trust in anyone. It was strange for someone who was Renjun's age to be so quiet, always hidden in the group chats, avoiding eyes to remain silent and never exactly participating in conversations. At first, people would assume he was shy and introverted, explaining his behaviour towards them, but then they slowly realised it was because Renjun generally didn't like other people's presence.

For Lucas to become his friend, it took him his entire life, literally. Although Lucas had claimed they were friends ever since they were younger, Renjun never exactly put the title over his head until recently, when Renjun was introducing Lucas to his boyfriend, Mark. To say that Lucas wasn't jealous would be a straight up lie. He wasn't one to shy away from his feelings but the ones he harboured for Renjun, they were something he had tried to hide for far too long. 

He was more annoyed than jealous. This guy, Mark Lee, had suddenly intruded in their small and peaceful life, taking Renjun away from him and made him trust the older without any problem. Lucas didn't understand how that was possible. Why was Renjun so open around Mark? He was only his boyfriend, not best friend of more than 19 years. It didn't make sense.

Ever since Renjun had started hanging out with Mark, Lucas felt like he was losing his best friend, if Renjun even thought of him like that. The way Renjun would look up at Mark, the strange admiration he felt towards him and the wide eyes filled with love — it made Lucas sick. 

"Mark's old boyfriend woke up," Renjun said one evening whilst they were laying on a sofa. Renjun was tucked into the cushions and Lucas was sitting upside down. Hearing the incredible news, Lucas sat up and beamed at Renjun.

"Isn't that great?" Lucas asked, wondering why that could be bad. Didn't Mark love this old boyfriend? And hadn't Renjun mentioned how he was only dating Mark to help him get through the pain?

"Yeah," Renjun chuckled bitterly, his eyes glued to the TV screen as some shampoo advert played. "It's fucking fantastic."

Renjun didn't visit him as often after that. Lucas didn't know what he had done wrong, or if he was in the wrong either. Weeks went by and there was no word from Renjun. Around that time, Chenle had started telling Lucas about this friend he had made, and how he was super close with him despite knowing him for only a while.

That's where Lucas met Donghyuck, the cute boy who had wide eyes just like Renjun. Again, Lucas found himself comparing Donghyuck with Renjun. What would it feel like to go on a date with Renjun? Or what would it feel like to kiss Renjun softly? Too bad Lucas could never know, but at least Mark would.

Lucas had gotten ready to go to the park with Donghyuck as he planned to finally move on from Renjun. He wasn't intending to make moves on Donghyuck, because he knew the boy was only interested in him in a friendly way, but he was curious about one thing. He wondered if a kiss from someone he didn't have romantic feelings would be the same as wanting to kiss Renjun. It didn't make much sense but neither did most of the stuff Lucas thought of in his head.

The look on Donghyuck's face when he asked for a kiss was priceless. The shock was evident in his tight smile and his initial confusion passed by. Lucas held his breath as Donghyuck went on his tip toes to press his lips against his. There were no sparkles or butterflies or whatever stories said about first kisses, and perhaps that was because it wasn't with someone he liked romantically. The warmth of Donghyuck's lips sure was comforting, making Lucas want to melt into the kiss, but they didn't make his head spin and heart swell. It wasn't anything special.

When Lucas saw Renjun run past, he didn't know what to do. His mind short-circuited for a few seconds, because of his lack of confronting Renjun and he froze on the spot. But then without wasting any time, Lucas said his farewells to Donghyuck and chased after Renjun. The younger boy struggled against his grip when he embraced him but soon gave up and let the older give him as much comfort as he could.

Lucas didn't understand many things. He didn't understand how Renjun could love Mark so intensely in such a short amount of time. He didn't understand how Renjun could still love Mark even after knowing that the older harboured no romantic feelings for him. He also didn't understand how Mark and managed to break down all the walls Renjun had built up over the past few years. What seemed to be unreachable had disappeared over night and it just didn't make any sense. What was so special in Mark anyways?

Renjun didn't pull away after Lucas had hugged him for the second time. As much as Lucas wanted to tell Renjun that he was so special to him, that he meant the world to him, that there was nothing else that could compare to him, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Renjun seemed too vulnerable and sad, someone that could be broken by even the most meaningless words. So he stuck to the phrase he knew would keep him stable. 

"I want you to know that I will always be here for you."

To others, it may seem like nothing more than a friendly gesture, something you would say to your friends to remind them that you will always remain by their side. But for Lucas, to have this directed to Renjun, it was something big. 

Lucas didn't know what to expect after the incident that took place with Mark and Renjun. At first he thought his best friend might return to him, or maybe even a more social Renjun would come back. But then a week passed and Renjun hadn't messaged him, and then another, and then another, and then—

Renjun had slowly stopped talking to him again. 

Lucas didn't feel betrayed, to be very honest. If he was to look back at their history, he would realise that the friendship was always one-sided, and Renjun never tried to hide that. He never told Lucas that he was his best friend or that he cared about the other in such a specific way. So Lucas didn't exactly have the right to feel offended, Renjun didn't owe him anything.

"This is my boyfriend, Yangyang," Renjun had said once they bumped into each other at a cafe. Renjun had his arm around the boy and was smiling at him like a fool, the same foolish admiration in his eyes like the one he had when he looked at Mark, yet this time it was stronger.

"Hey," Lucas had choked out, unable to believe how Renjun had left him to be with Yangyang. They were never dating, but Lucas still felt like the younger was obliged to tell him that little detail of his life. Lucas later found out that Mark knew about Yangyang, and so did Donghyuck. Apparently, everyone knew about him but Lucas. Was he really that much of a bad friend? Was that the reason Renjun never spoke to him with such care and love like how he spoke to Mark or Yangyang (or even Donghyuck, who he later became friends with).

It didn't make any sense. Was Lucas not a good friend?

The friendship he had with Renjun soon crumbled after finding out about Yangyang. He felt like the younger had trampled over his feelings and his trust. Sure, Renjun never owed him anything, but couldn't he have had some sympathy for the older and pretended to be his friend at least?

Lucas moved back to China a few months later, too tired of stressing over broken friendships. He still kept in contact with Donghyuck and Chenle, choosing to not separate from such close friends, but with everyone else, he let go. He let go of Renjun and his feelings for the younger. He let go of all the times Renjun had made his heart ache or swell. Those few things only meant something big for Lucas, but for Renjun, they were just mere incidents that took place in his life. Nothing big. 

He didn't expect much when he reached China, a bag in his hand and his parents waiting for him by the gates. They guided him home and he spent the entire day with them, surprised as to how well he managed to conceal the pain of indirect rejection. The act he held up in front of his parents continued for so long until he forgot how to express his emotions properly. The only emotion he ever showed was happiness, and even when he felt like he was falling into a hole and wasn't going to be able to climb out, the smile on his face only widened and he blurted out another string of jokes.

That was, until he met an older guy at his internship. Lucas wasn't familiar with the place, since he had moved to Korea a long time ago, so this guy, his name was Ten, had decided to help him around. 

There were many things Lucas didn't understand. One of them was his friendship with Renjun. The second was his unusual inability to express emotional properly. And the third was his sudden infatuation towards Ten. The older male had managed to wrap Lucas around his finger and Lucas didn't even care anymore. The feelings he had for Renjun had gone down the drain and the amazing sensation he felt that washed through his body whenever he saw Ten was incredible. Lucas was finally able to express himself again.

"I love you," Ten had said once and Lucas felt his stomach drop. He turned around and peered over the corner. His eyes widened at the sight of Ten pushing a slightly taller male against the wall and immediately pressing his lips against his. "I love you, Kun."

It hurt, it hurt a lot. Lucas felt pain coarse through his body. He wondered how a heart break was causing his entire body to react. Wasn't it just an emotional problem? Why was his entire body reacting?

Lucas found himself in his apartment bed a few hours later. He felt tears burn down his cheeks and he wondered once again how he hadn't noticed their strange behaviour. He didn't even know they were dating. Yet another friendship had gone down the drain. No one trusted him with their love lives apparently and Lucas couldn't stop laughing at the thought. No one trusted him enough to simply tell him that they were in love. 

"Are you okay?" Someone had called out to him through the thin walls of his apartment once his laughter had morphed into loud sobs. "Do you need someone with you right now?"

Lucas didn't know what he had said but later woke up to a fluff of brown in his face. He pulled away and saw a cute boy holding him in his arms. Blinking slowly at the sight, Lucas felt his cheeks heat up. The boy wrapped around him woke up and quickly pulled away in embarrassment.

"Ah, sorry to wake you up, or to hold you like that," The boy immediately apologised. Lucas stared up at him and the latter finally realised he hadn't introduced himself properly yet. "Oh, I'm Jungwoo, by the way."

Lucas slid his hand into the outstretched one and tried to push away the feeling that tugged his heart.  _ Not again, _ he thought when he felt his lips twitch into a smile when Jungwoo laughed. 

But little did Lucas know, that in only a few months, he would find himself writing a text message to Donghyuck about how much of a great boyfriend Jungwoo was. 

**Author's Note:**

> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/deelonghyuck)


End file.
